To Clara

Papa and I loved getting to meet you for the very first time.  We spent the weekend cuddling with you -- we just couldn't get enough snuggles because long distance face timing just isn't the same!  It seemed like you'd never get here. You're the answer to all our prayers.  We know God has something very special for you

You are never far from
Momma's arms

 Daddy can't get enough of you ---

We adore your cute little faces

Yes, Sweet Clara - we waited a long time to get to meet you!

and we even got to be your very first baby sitters!

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Colossians 1:17, "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." (NIV)

This was in my Proverbs 31 devotional this morning -- I needed it.

My last 3 days haven't gone as planned --

Extreme dizziness from an anti-cancer drug causing me to  fall out of the tub getting ready for Church on Sunday (don't even do the visual on that one) followed by a trip to the Urgent Care instead of Worship--

Missing a call from my surgeon's office that they were changing my appointment -- only to show up yesterday afternoon (in extreme pain on my right side b/c of the fall) and wanting to know how it was that they hadn't written down my appointment -- ooooh RED FACE HERE when I realized I hadn't found that message on my phone.

Embarassed that it was "my bad" -- but ever so thankful the doctor would go ahead and see me and check out my soreness.

Last night was a restless night in a pain that no meds could touch -- 

BUT GOD -- holds it all together -- HE keeps us glued together and content in HIM.   I couldn't help but remember my standing up -- not falling down passage -- "Now to HIM who is able to keep you from falling" -- from Jude 24.

It's going to be a day of LEANING IN and LEANING ON HIM  --- AND enjoying daily pics from this precious little one!

We can't wait to meet this little one in person this weekend!

Dear God, Help me let go of the constructed life and embrace the connected life, even if it means I don’t get all my work finished. Remind me to be still in Your presence so I might remember that my soul is made to find my rest in You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Clara Mary Bell -- We're Blessed!!!!

She's here -- 

Clara Mary Bell -- weighing in at 6#14 ounces 
7:29 Denver, CO. August 27, 2015

We are so in love with this little bundle of wonder -- what a God gift she is to all of us!

Clara Mary you have been our light at the end of the tunnel -- knowing you were soon to arrive -- made everything brighter!!!!

Clara your momma is a rock star -- she has taken care of all of us this Spring, redecorated a condo -- bought a house and got loads of boxes packed and moved --




Your mommy and daddy are the very best and will give you the beautiful life you deserve.  All you have to do is whimper and they'll come running!!!

Clara - Papa and I become more and more excited with each child that's born.  Knowing that you will grow and develop into someone very special.  We can't wait to experience every stage of your life.

Watching your child with their child is one of life's great blessings!!
I loved hearing Marshall's first comments about Clara -

"I didn't know you could fall in love so quickly!"

Here you are already to go home -- your daddy and mommy are READY --

HOMEWARD BOUND!

Children

It's earlier for me -- I've been sleeping longer and later and TOMORROW - I start back to school - back to the 5:30 wake-up.

Last week this fb post reminded me that soon I'd meet my students

Dr. Smith released me on yesterday to start back a short week and then meet it head on next week full schedule. - Between Terry and me we've had 3 doctor visits most weeks (we always go together -- helps to get all our questions answered) That may continue for the next few months -- but HEY, with God doin the healin' we're kickin' it!  We've noticed in all of this how God is our Scheduler and none of Terry's teaching overlaps with all this health business!  

This mornings verse from 1 John 5 where John refers to us as "dear children" relates so completely to what I woke up with.  
Last night we celebrated Mat's birthday and the kids were in high gear.  Campbell is the PARTY PLANNER just like her mother has always been.  She loves to ice cakes, put candles on and set the table.  (Don't know how she missed having balloons) -- but as her tired daddy came in the back door she was all in a dither. . . so excited for his birthday.  She's already planning a pirate birthday for her Papa's upcoming November birthday.

We sat down to eat and as usual they called on Campbell to say the prayer -- she started in her usual,
"Dear Jesus . . ." and then broke into a song/prayer they sing at her preschool. . . singing "God, our Father, God our Father - once again ....."  She's done this before . . . and we all sit wishing we'd turned on our phone recorders while she sings it through so completely -- so sweetly in full volume . . . 
Sydney - sort of rolling her eyes -- because they often fight over who will get to say the prayer first.

Campbell's so focused on Jesus and the other morning early asked her mom if they could start packing for Heaven - saying how badly she wanted to go.  She asked if she could take her stuffed animals (she travels with at least 7 for every sleepover), the house, could we watch TV there (something that is limited at her house) and WHY did Jesus have to be the boss????"

Jack is all boy and is loving the rough and tumble of his two sisters -- he truly is one happy baby.
'Don't know that I've seen a happier little guy!  He adores his momma, crazy about his daddy, loves to giggle at his sisters and
... if you pick him up -- he's your buddy!

Sydney is talks nonstop and so lovingly to all her toys as if they were children. Terry asked Sydney yesterday -- "what do you like about your sister?" -- she quickly responded - "She gives me hugs!" The other day he wanted to know what the best part of her day was -- without hesistation she said "When Neena and Papa came over"

Breaktime for Bethany the other morning as they were so busy building a rocket to Saturn -- firstborn is the First Mate I'm sure.

Yes, it was power hour at the Good house as it is everyday from 4-6 -- but just the energy these two old geezers needed!

So much of what I read in 1 John 5 this morning,  he spoke of us as DEAR CHILDREN --- God sees us just like we see our little "Goodletts" and "Teeny Baby".

18 We know that God’s children do not make a practice of sinning, for God’s Son holds them securely, and the evil one cannot touch them.19 We know that we are children of God   1 John 5

Remembering whose kid I am . . . desiring a child-like heart today in all my relationships.

First time in 22 years I haven't started school with all my teacher friends!  I was so restless the first two days -- knowing I wasn't there to kick it into full swing.  I know that soon I will be back in the saddle again in school and regret we won't have time to be with the grands as much for our weekly play dates!

Campbell started her first sewing this week!  She was able to stay with it for the longest time-even though she picked a harder project.

 -- We have really missed having our Nana Papa days in last 5 -6 weeks,  The kids are growing so quickly and we always are more aware of it when we have them over.

The other day Campbell remarked:
  "It's always 'yes' at Nana & Papa's house!"  hmmm don't know where that might happen.

Sydney was all snuggles -- ooooh good medicine!

Sydney and Nana were all tuckered out!

The girls love their papa computer time -- it's sloths, squirrels or songs!

Campbell helping out with things I can'd do 

Meanwhile our CO kids are closing on selling Marshall's bachelor pad and yesterday closed on their new house.  They've even bought their first lawn mower!

Moving in has started already and by Tuesday they hope to have everything in place!  
Just in time to welcome "Teeny Baby" in the next few weeks.  To say we're excited is an understatement!

I'm catching up on paperwork and phone calls to businesses I can't do when school is in session and things like staying on line for hours with cable and other utilities - not to mention doctor appointments.  There are 3 this week.

Just when I thought this pain was going to NEVER GO AWAY -- IT'S getting better.

Now to spend the weekend writing lesson plans to make the next few months smoother.

We're still kicking cancer and other ailments around here.  Every day I try something new just to get ready to get back in the swing of things.

Walking is going pretty well - If I'm going to make the 5K Susan Koman - I'd better get it in gear.

God is good!

Jack

Just a few short months ago we welcomed you into the world, sweet Baby Jack.

Surgeons Jack and Uncle Dr. Marshall for Halloween

Thanksgiving with Uncle James (and Aunt Candy)

Your giggles feed our spirits and take us to a happy place

Your Sisters Adore you

Your were your favorite baby sitters Ring Bearer 

You've put up with reflux, helmets, eye patches and still keep on a happy face

Sydney sported her biking helmet to support your first day in your helmet

Add caption

 By early March, I was on an easier medication, so I got to hang out more with you, sweet guy

You were such a trooper all through Puerto
Viajarta

Your sisters were soooo excited for your birthday!

They couldn't wait to help you unwrap your presents.

To you Happy Boy -- Happy, Happy Birthday!

Just when I thought the 3 1/2 weeks were the worst part of this whole Cancer regimen - I remembered the nausea and fatigue of those early chemo weeks. Moaning about my pain - I thought of others who are in severe pain ALL THE TIME and have other debilitating situations. HEY, my pain will heal!

My college roommate, Sharon, is now facing a neuromuscular disease that has her immoble from the waist down.  She has determined to be independent and with the help of her family is deeply involved in life and loving despite the challenges that have been thrown at her.

I just learned of her condition on Friday -- and as I was drifting off to sleep that night - I thought about all the nights in our dorm bunk beds when we'd talk about life and what lay ahead in our lives -- health issues were certainly not something we pictured on the horizon of our futures.

PRAYING . . . it's the only and MOST we can do.

He Hears

"‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. 

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames willnot set you ablaze.’" Isaiah 43:1b-2 (NIV)

On Sunday while Terry was preaching,  I got as far down on my knees as I could at home and prayed for DIRECTION and WISDOM– our kids were texting back and forth concerned for their dad and he was pushing on, trying to keep all his commitments.  Marshall was keeping in touch all weekend with Bethany and Mat. When we heard Terry say he was too tired and didn’t have the strength to go play with the g’kids as we often do on Sunday evenings, we knew the man was in serious PAIN and that it had robbed him of any energy. It was keeping his breathing to a minimum.

One word I’ve always known God as is “The Waymaker”  I know the verse, “I am the Way, the truth and the Life” – but I’ve taken it further and personalized it years ago when we took care of my mother and I was clueless as to which way to go.  We would watch God bring people, food, caregivers, doctors together in a mighty way.

HE does that and we saw things come together all week.  .  . even my appointments for the radiation plan fell right into line. So many health issues were examined, showing his heart and lungs are strong - (Thank you, Jesus)

Having just gotten out of the hospital – barely out of his hospital gown – Terry insisted on driving me to those appointments yesterday and then out to school to get more things rolling.   He was wiped out from his previous two days – but wanted to learn with me what was ahead with radiation. We truly LOVE our radiologist, Dr. Nguyen– she is a teacher to the max!  She explained with the previous size of the tumor what my chances of recurring were with and without radiation. She showed I was in the high risk before.  She was pleased with my response to the chemo.I even typed up her handwritten notes to make sure we remembered it all.

This verse above was in one of my morning devotionals – it fit so well as I was brought to see how God was answering my Sunday prayer ALL week.

In all my planning and trying to get back to school on an earlier schedule – I’m seeing that I’m not quite there yet – this past week has really increased my pain. .  . God is healing – I know that as I see it happening – I just have to give it HIS time.

Campbell’s big question in all this:  Nana, when you’re in the hospital – can I come up and bring my friends to visit you? 

Terry laughed and told her momma they could come see him.

Our little ones have been with their favorite baby sitters a lot in the last three weeks with all of this as their momma is managing the five of us so patiently and with GRACE. . . not sure which end of the age spectrum is easier for her --older us or the little "Goodlets".

Team Work

During the past 6-7 months after Terry's suspicious nodule on his Thryoid when the doctors were looking at possible cancer there as well as my cancer diagnosis - people would say -- "can you believe it??? the two of you with "shaky" biopsy reports 10 minutes apart???  One person even said, "You two are such a team -- it's good you're both facing similar things." REALLY?

It made me think of the verse -- If one can chase a thousand, two can chase ten thousands

Campbell asked me yesterday morning when she discovered that we'd left Papa at the hospital and I had slept over at their house - "Why is Papa in the hospital?"

I told her - I stayed in the hospital two weeks ago on Monday night - now it's Papa's turn to spend a Monday night there.
Now you know why our g'kids give such off-the-wall responses.  They get it from their Nana.

Terry's pain and breathing had worsened considerably the past 2-3 weeks-- I tried to talk him out of preaching on Sunday morning and he insisted.  I alerted Mondo and every 15 minutes he gave me an update on how T was doing.

Marshall had talked to his Dad on Saturday - and picked up on the pain and discomfort he was feeling.  He, Bethany, Mat and his Dad, a leading Denver pulmonologist, started making a plan.  Bethany came over on Monday checked him out - texted the guys and she took her Dad to Hillcrest South's ER -- where treatment started happening as soon as they got him a bed.

24 hours and lots of tests later -- addressing the extreme pain and inability to breathe -- with heavy steroids, the doctors developed a new game plan.  Last night Terry looked like a new person!
He tells me that with all the steroids and wires -- he was totally "wired" last night -- couldn't sleep so he caught up on his on-line teaching.  I can't imagine since one finger had the pulse-ox monitor on it,  typing with one finger - or left hand part of the time.

God is good -- his heart and lungs are looking strong (a problem with RA) -- but now step #2 is to take care of RA pain management which they addressed last night with a different medication.

I could see Terry start to relax at the hospital when he could see that not only was he in God's hands, but our kids had everything under control -- Bethany insisted that he was "off duty" with taking care of me -- he realized that he NEEDED to be there and stay the night.
The caregiver that he is,  as soon as we got him to the ER he was insisting that we gals leave him there and both get home -- 
WHAT KIND OF PERSON JUST DUMPS THEIR PEOPLE AT THE EMERGENCY ROOM???  Besides that, I always have 1000 questions I need answers for.  I wanted us to get to the bottom of these health problems.

 It's been hot here in Tulsa with high humidity.  Sydney has been going around talking about making winter and when I woke up at their house on Tuesday morning she was wearing snowman pajamas - talking of winter.
She belted out "Frosty the Snowman" most of the day on Tuesday.  
You know it's steamy when the toddlers are longing for colder days.

Jack stays a happy camper through the whole thing!

Can't believe he'll be a year old next week!  Don't know where the time has gone

Someone asked Bethany yesterday about 3 preschoolers, and running back and forth to the hospital -- she said, "Oh, I have 5 kids" -- including her dad and me as #4 & 5.

We know that God is in the details.  The timing was HIS, the protection and safety was HIS, the medical team HE sent our way was excellent!  We feel so protected -- and guided by the wisdom HE's giving.

Learning Patient Patience

Lots of doctor visits this week. . . 

While I've been celebrating good test results, Friday, my oncologist, Dr. Taylor, was very pleased with them as well, said that I'll be coming to see him every three months for several years just to keep tabs on it all.  I wanted a totally clean slate no questions or grey areas possible --no need to come back-- but the journey from here is to trust, live in faith, eat "clean" and WALK, WALK, WALK!

He stressed a heart healthy diet - and walking long and fast enough to get my heart rate up -- (he wouldn't accept my excuse that teachers are always on the move -- said he doubted I got myself worked up into a sweat for an extended time that often in the classroom. (hmm I've had some classes that could get me pretty angry for that long - HA)   He said with breast cancer, walking is one of the best deterrents to keeping it from returning.

SO TODAY:  I TOPPED YESTERDAY'S RECORD AND MADE IT TOTALLY AROUND THE BLOCK!  (yesterday I just got to the end of the block)

Last Monday's visit to Dr. Smith, my surgeon, revealed that there was no starting school on schedule - said I couldn't think about it until I saw her in 4 weeks.  Marinelle has already been planning how she would do that for me -- and came Tuesday to start our lesson plans for those first 4-5 days of launching the semester.  -- CAN YOU BELIEVE HER?
Visits from the three Goodletts are good medicine - they keep us laughing -- and Neena is the only one who can do things for Sydney.  .  .  even now.   Usually this time of year -- I'd be spending mornings in the yard -- and trying to work in as much time as possible with the grandbabies before going back to school.  This staying inside, lying around reading a novel which I haven't in a LONG time-- keeps me healing and gives me back some energy to accomplish a few tasks.  Thanks for the double book, Sharon -- it's another good Rx!)

It's been a good week, visits from sweet friends, the meds have helped to manage the pain -- when it feels like the 800 lb elephant 80 lb baby elephant is sitting on my chest and my underarms feel like I've just pressed them with a steam iron. (Sorry to be so graphic)   -- When women would talk about having pain -- I never knew exactly what type or where it was.

Our sweet friends and Church family have kept us so well-fed the past two weeks. Bethany and Mat started filling the freezer weeks ago with his grilling and her clean-eating recipes. Marinelle and her mother added more to it this week!  Luke, one of our favorite teens, made his specialty pizza for us on Monday night and then drove it over with his Mom (he's just now learning to drive).  WHAT a FUN TREAT!  I feel blessed with all the loving support we've been given these past 8 months!  Sharon, Linda, Leeca, & Geeta have all taken such good care of us.

I'm asking special prayers for Bob with pancreatic cancer - for Debbie with lung cancer who now has a suspicious spot on her spine.  It takes my breath when I hear of people on this journey whose struggle is so difficult.  Please join me in praying for them!

JUST SAYING . . .

IT'S DAY 6! 

 I'm ready for the healing to be over with and things to return to normal -- still having to take pain meds round the clock b/c my chest feels like I'm in a vice grip that is extra tight.  

You know the old saying -- "don't wear out your welcome" -- I don't want to wear out my welcome here at the Bell Rehab Hotel -- I have the very BEST caregiver--- TERRY ROCKS-- but -- this is the day that everything makes me irritable -- time to get out my Bible and feed my spirit with a strong dose of the Word b/c this sister here is getting pretty cranky. (Just a warning to anyone who comes around -- LOL)  

I know it will all be better soon -- but with all the tubes and stitches and scars -- I'm ready for a heavy dose of JOY. .  .  I know where to find it -- so I'll begin with thanking Jesus for ALL the blessings on this Journey. .  .  Listen to some Matt Redman and Chris Tomlin and get my eyes fixed on things above.

Ouch!

As the anesthesia wears off and the surgery meds have cleared my system -- the pain is REAL!.  I'm thankful for good pain medication and being able to sleep well at night.  I have the best caregivers.

The bandages came off today and the nurse assistant was pleased with the outcome.  I'm still getting used to it.  
I am so thankful to God for being the Wonderful Creator of our bodies and the Great Physician that keeps us healing..

HEALING AT HOME

Monday morning with kisses from my family, they wheeled me into the operating room.

When I got there- my surgeon, Dr. Smith, prayed with me before they put me under.  That was a first -- another first -- her office sent flowers that afternoon.

Two little girls and seven big people have been cheering me on this whole time.

Monday night bedtime prayers included Campbell's words . . .

"Dear Jesus
Thank you for making my Nana brave and for letting the doctors and my mommy help her feel better"

It's been a sweet family time -- and we are so touched by their little prayers.  The girls have been worried about surgery -- they don't know what it really is and so Sunday night bedtime was delayed by C's coming downstairs to ask a bazillion questions about surgery. . . . like "what if Nana wakes up during surgery?" -- hmmm good question.

ANOTHER FIRST:  I've never been dismissed from a hospital as quickly as we were yesterday -- we were back home by 9:15.

Pain gets high -- but the meds are working.   Jesus makes it all better.

Show Time!

It's about time for the alarm to ring
'Been awake since 2:30
I figure I'll be sleeping most of the day - might as well get up.  Gotta be at the hospital by 6.


So many "God stops" these past few days.

Getting to be together as family- wish Katie could join us.
The VA operating room shut down- so Marshall got to come in 2 days early

Yesterday's sermon was all about Joy and Nehemiah 8:10 was one of the key passages

Even one of the announcements referred to a passage God used to confirm a blessing 13 years ago when we moved Mom here --the story of Obed Edom.

I love how the Infinite God who is OVERALL - can give a faith touch in those exact places of our heart that mean the most!

God is in the details.

Great News and Glitches

THE GOOD NEWS:  Marshall and Katie's house went on the market on Monday -- 8 showings on Wed. --2 contracts that night -- with a signed contract by Thursday evening!!!

THE GREAT NEWS Baby Bell is at 8 months / 4 pounds 7 oz this morning at the dr. visit!!!  
Due Date:  Sept. 1

 

GETAWAY TIME:

Terry and I are taking the last few pre-surgery days to relax and get away.  We were able to get one night at Big Cedar Lodge and then come back Hwy 412 to roam the gorgeous countryside. I wanted to be OUT since I knew I was going to be IN for quite a spell recovering and reconstructing.  Poor Guy will be ready to bust out of there at the end of 6 weeks

Breakfast at Truman's Cafe on the Lake

.

It was more about the journey than the destination for us:  two soon-to-be-shut-inners.   I didn't want to go to a big city -- stay in a hotel and eat in all the same restaurants we have in Tulsa -- you can stay home and do that.  We came back through Springdale AR and have a very nice room for the remainder of our R & R

GLITCHES:  Yesterday my surgeon's office called to say that they hadn't been able to get authorization on the bi-lateral mastectomy.  If it wasn't approved they would only do a simple or we could cover the second financially ourselves..  I said to her - we'd be putting it to prayer and we believed that God is in the details

I had been praying for guidance -- should we do the simple or double?  I asked God for wisdom.

Terry and I felt that God would be showing us through this authorization process and we were to wait on Him.  

In all of it -- I believed we'd see clearly -- 

The verse I've used as an anchor -- "In repentence and REST is my salvation and in QUIETNESS and TRUST is my strength" -- Isa. 30:15 -- kept me from going screaming yellow bonkers and just gave me a peace about the whole thing.

At 2:00 today the surgeon's assistant called to say that our insurance company in reviewing my case - found that they had made a mistake in their new policy and would be granting authorization to cover the complete surgery.  GOD IS IN THE DETAILS -

Nesting

They call it "nesting" when a soon-to-deliver pregnant mommy gets a second wind and gets her house ready and does all sorts of things to prepare for her new life.  I guess that's what I'm doing -- pre-surgery.

> doing lots of laundry -
> setting up a new bed and finding the right size bedding
> cleaning like a crazy woman - with help from Domesticade -- thank you to this company that donates to cancer victims
> sorting / tossing / giving away things we haven't used in over a year
> made the little bag for post-surgery drains.

Today Bethany and her three little "Goodlets" came out to school to help me set up my classroom for 2015-2016 - since lifting desks and tables can't be on my schedule for some time. 

The girls had all sorts of questions:

Sydney had to check out the bathroom and try out big student desks

Campbell wondered where the boys and girls had snack time and art time and why did they have to sit in such big desks that were connected to the chair?

C wondered if I had all girls in my class or did I have boys?

What were those bells that kept ringing for? 
 
They weren't sure why there was a refrigerator and oven in my classroom (I'm in the foods lab)

Syd kept thinking the Ram was an Elephant.

No, you can't ride the Ram.

Why?  The Ram might break.

Jack roamed the room and loved the extra crawling space.

That took a huge load off - just knowing that my room is set up- student ready for 31 anxious-to-learn
high schoolers.





I've taken care of pre-op, EKG, blood work, chest x-ray, rehab visit to learn all about the danger of lymphadema.  

Right now, I have so much reading to do in order to remember all the things I've been told pre-surgery.

Never mind that summer school was in session -- Jack loved this long crawl  -- we could be heard down the entire hallway

As we drove off Sydney wailed "I want to go to high school"-
Bethany reminded her that she was hungry and they weren't serving food today in high school that was all it took!

KID CONVO

We live off the funny things the girls say for several days -- because Grandkids say the funniest things -- the most precious things.  Terry even interprets what Jack says -- he calls it speaking "Jackaneese" as he gets him to mimic what sounds he's making.

At the end of our last sleepover, Terry asked Sydney, "What was your favorite part of our sleepover?"
S:  "Playing with you" -- that was music to a Papa's ears - who had Helped handstands, tumbled with them and played all sorts of gymnastic games.


Sydney's newest way to get her mom's attention is to loudly say,
"Mommy, look at my face" . . . and then ask her question.  

When Terry got a new sports coat for his birthday
C:  "People will say, 'There goes one good-looking Papa;' "

 At their tea party with Papa -- one morning recently, before breakfast 
C: Papa here's some Camaflogue tea -- pretty accurate descriptive since they were drinking water from the bathroom sink.


A couple of weeks ago at bedtime after - one more song, lots of Bible stories, getting back up to brush teeth and then potty and get a booboo which needed a Doc McStuffin bandaid --
This child who almost fell asleep in her plate at supper, stretched out in her bed -- hands under her head,

S: "I just have one more question, WHY do I have to go to bed?"


Talking to her babysitter the other day noticed that she didn't have a blue "Jan" bracelet for her grandmommas asked,

C: "Aren't you praying for my Nana?"


Being out of preschool for a month seems to have multiplied the questions and right now there are lots of questions about the fourth of July -- Yesterday,  driving up to their house -

C:  We have a flag like you, Nana -- only ours is cleaner.

(Mine has a bronzed look - like it's Early American.)  I explained mine looked antique -- try explaining that to a just turned 5 yr old.