God is in CONTROL

Sunday, June 28, 2009

He's Home!

We had been praying for Marshall and Bethany to get to TX in time to say goodbye to their pappa. God was so gracious to bring them in and let us all be together to give him the tenderness and love he's given to all of us during his life.

Our family has spent the past days around his bed with David, Candy & James, Delaney, Zac, and Tambi remembering stories of our Pappa and retelling them to each other. That seemed to draw us closer and heal our hurting. Terry spoke at Pappa's funeral about this time between the beginning of dying and the end of living where this shared effort of ministering to him, ministered to us.

He's been released and He's free of dementia, pain, loneliness and all the other maladies of aging.
He's Home.
He's with Jesus
. . . and his beloved Wanda.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Homecoming



We got to the hospital shortly after midnight Monday night and Terry joined his sister, Candace to spent a difficult night with his Dad in the ICU. On Tuesday morning, shortly after I got to the room, Terry was trying to get his dad to connect with him by reminding him of things they'd done and places they'd lived and all of a sudden he said "Wanda's waiting for me." Nobody had said anything about what might be coming. We weren't even sure he knew who we were. What did he already know that we didn't?

It's amazing the events God puts in place when HE calls one of His home. As Terry and I look back at the death of our other three parents we remember things that only God could have brought together. The verse in Psalm 116 says, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His Saints."

Separate and apart from all the phrases we've heard tossed about in the past few days, "irreversable damage", "organs failing" "quality of life" "advanced directives," and "living will", the technology one can be hooked up to in the final days makes me wonder if it isn't harder in these times to get free of this earthly body. The decisions presented to Candace, David and Terry are very difficult to make. Pop, your three children have tried to carry out your wishes precisely according to the way you lived your life.

Something that has been helpful to me during this time of sitting my shift with Pappa is to let these young caregivers know just WHO they're taking care of - not some tiny little man who can't hold his head up or form his words or understand what they're saying. This 92 yr. old retired military man was the ultimate caregiver for his wife of 50 years and showed us the nurturing, caregiving nature of our Heavenly Father.
As I talked to them about him, I also wanted to say . . .
"Treat this man gently because he spent a lifetime caring for others. Be careful how you treat that broken hip when you're pulling him up in bed". They are amazed at his strong grip and firm response when they want to probe and prod to clear his lungs. I've seen that strong back transfer Meemee into her wheelchair for years and do it oh so gently. I remember how he sat by her bed from dawn until dusk every day of those 19 months she was in the care center, monitoring the care the staff gave her. While he's slept I've had a chance to remember what we've all learned from him and the good life we've had with him and because of him.

Yesterday his sweet smile came back. His eyes were brighter and he seemed to be waking up from the haze of these past few days. I wanted to think, look who's coming back to us yet they tell us how very close the end is -- but the Word says God has numbered our days -- it's in HIS hands. Whenever that day is . . .

We know Pop, that at some point there's a homecoming ready for you on the other side. AND -- if there's dogs in heaven, knowing your extreme love of your "little doggies" then Touzer, CHOTO, Simone and Buttercup and Cisco and Maggie and all your other critters will be at the gate waiting with Meemee.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Forever Friend




Today is my friend Charlene's birthday.
She's not just any friend.
She's my forever friend.

You see, I've known her as long as I have a memory.
Our friendship goes back 57 years because
my parents moved next door to her family when I was two.

Charlene and I are in the back row.



We used to get the same Christmas presents
due to our mother's planning --
I wonder if that was so there wouldn't
be any fighting when we played together.

We used to play "show" on each other's front
porches wrapped in our faux mink stoles and
plastic high heels, mimicking something we saw on
the Ed Sullivan Show the night before.

We baked cookies in each other's kitchen
played back and forth between the two
houses,and helped each other with chores
so the other could come out to play sooner.

There was a time when our brothers excluded us
from their adventures, and we tried to dig our own
swimming pool since we were banned from their secret
hide out.

Her family goes back 150+ years in that little town and she
has helped to preserve the same family tradition of
dedication and hard work to her community, leading
4-H there for 23+ years.
This summer she is helping to host an old-fashioned picnic for the Lutheran
church's 150th anniversary.



I moved away after high school and she married and moved
back home aross the road from my parents and her's.

During all those years of my parent's confinement with poor health
she cooked food, brought her husband to help and came running whenever
they had a need, and she raised her children to be helpful and attentive
to them. She became like my parent's second daughter.

Charlene is in the middle


She's nursed her parents and mother-in-law through
their own illnesses and is the backbone of her family --
a loving wife, supportive Mom,
and doting grandmother.

She knows my history better than anyone else and STILL loves me.

I can let too much time pass and she still answers my calls
with the same enthusiasm and warmth.

When I call with a problem she always considers my best.
She's the first to be excited over any success I may have.

Charlene is the one I use as an example in my life skill's classes
when I talk about faithfulness and loyalty in relationships.

She has kept our relationship strong all these years. She NEVER
forgets a special day of mine.

When I go back to my hometown of Moro I step back
in to all the wonderful memories of our time growing up
together and we pick up where we left off from
our last phone call.


Charlene, 1 Cor. 13 describes the love you give to all of us,
LOVE is (You Are) patient, kind, not self-seeking,
. . . always protect, always trusts, always
hopes, always perserveres.

I can't be there today, Charlene, but
I want to wish you the best of birthdays.

You are the wind beneath all our wings.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Road Trip





I was calling it our "Thelma and Louise" Road trip -- but as I remember the movie, those two gals got into lots of trouble and came to a fateful end.

What fun to get to spend 19 hours of car time catching up with Bethany as we traveled to my niece, Chelle Neese's, destination wedding in Chicago. We laughed, shared, dreamed and meandered through little towns with I-80 detours! We had time to walk (me) / run (her) Lake Michigan Shoreline, take lots of pics in Lincoln park (she's a great photographer) and eat our fill. We stayed in an historic Chicago hotel, the old Stratford Belton, overlooking the lake.


As family was busy with rehearshal and wedding prep, we found a great little Italian restaurant Tuesday night a few blocks down the street that we darted into to avoid the rain and ended up having a wonderful time. Ricardo himself made sure we quickly got a table (I think he took pity on us looking like two drowned critters).




We enjoyed being with extended family and seeing some folks I hadn't seen in ages! The wedding was such an intimate, loving time between the two families who have previously enjoyed Zambia mission work together. Chelle and Michael met in Zambia and both had wanted to have their wedding there. (That would have been the extreme destination wedding!) Chelle looked gorgeous and remained calm -- Michael was striking in his tux and the whole evening was a wonderful celebration with family and close friends.


Waiting out a downpour by the side of the road in Davenport Thursday on our return to KC made me realize how vulnerable you can become in a millisecond. Cruising along at 70+ mph all of a sudden we drove into a torrential downpour of wind, water, hail and whatever else could blow through. (Next day Terry said he heard CNN say a tornado had zipped through the route we were driving!!!) I sat shakily clutching the steering wheel praying to not get hit by cars whizzing by and that it would soon pass -- in a few minutes it did -- God is sooo good -- and we were on the road again --- anxious to get back to their home for Mat's residency graduation.



We enjoyed time with Mat's family and our kids together and got to witness him reach another milestone.

I told Bethany as we parted yesterday -- "I'm gonna go through Bethany withdrawal"

It seems there's never enough time to be with the ones you love -- I know that's one of the things I'm going to enjoy in Heaven --An eternity with the Jesus and all the people I love!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Taking Off




We watched his U-Haul pull away, knowing that Marshall was starting a new chapter in his life and his relationship with home would be different now that he has bought his own house. I have to say it caused a swift tug at this mother's heart strings.

It's been fun sharing his excitement of this new adventure and shopping together for a new couch. I believe the couch decision was about as crucial as buying the condo. I discovered that trying out couches is a lot like trying on clothes -- has to fit the body and look good at the same time.
It also presented a chance to load up this trailer with my cast-offs:) I am pleased to announce that "Rusty", the coyote from the garage, made it to the back seat of the pick-up truck! (Terry & Marshall are both attached to that taxidermied critter and Terry's agreed to loan it until we get the western room complete on the new church property.)

We can't wait to check out Marshall's new "digs" and maybe I can help organize the kitchen. Hmmm . . . maybe I'd better wait until I'm asked!

What a Birthday Week!


Terry always says I don't want a birth DAY -- I want a birth MONTH. This year, it really was a whole week long -- Starting with the kids coming in on Friday to celebrate early on June 5th. They know I love it best when we all gather in the kitchen to each prepare our favorite dishes. Let's see it was Marshall's asparagus, coconut cake and steaks and Bethany's salad and Terry's ? ?? Oh, that's right he did the shopping and planning.

I got to have lunch with a dear friend, received cards from other special friends, read facebook birthday wishes from people various places I've lived, plus got calls from a dear friend of 57 years and my younger brother, Bill. At this point I have 3 raincheck birthday lunches!!! I am blessed beyond measure!

It's at this time when I realize the significance of long time friends and newer relationships and how very much I enjoy having all these people in my life.
Our Creator God made us relational people - with a need for people to complete our lives and . . . like the song says, "I get by with a little help from my friends." (and my wonderful family !!!)

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Windows -


I have this thing about dirty windows and I inherited it from my Dad. He never wanted anyone wiping off his car windows with their sleeve because that would leave them smudged. In my mind's eye, I still can see him in the subfreezing temperatures of January washing the front glass doors of the church the day Terry and I got married. Yes, Dad and I shared a disdain for dirty windows.

I don't like having my view obliterated or having to guess what's on the other side. I spent Thurs. morning power washing and then drying all 150 panes of the garden room atrium doors. Being able to see clearly changes my perspective of EVERYTHING and now I am quite certain that now my yard looks much more like Southern Living landscaping than it did before this chore. 'Wonder what I'm missing on the front side of the house?

Didn't Paul say something about now seeing dimly and one day we'll SEE CLEARLY face to face? It is within us to want to SEE things as they are -- Aren't there a lot of things clouded in our world today?

One day there will be no guessing -- it will all be made CLEAR as we see HIM FACE TO FACE.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Spirit of Toss


I confess -- I am a JUNKIE -- not in terms of substance abuse, but in possessions. I don't shop garage sales -- I have enough of that stuff at home. Whenever I hold a garage sale I make about $30 -- Evidentally, I'm not parting with the things somebody else really wants. I'm always waiting for one of those groups that will come by and pick up items for charity. I keep boxes ready to give away-- and the minute they call I have it ready to put on my front porch. Doing all that, it still seems to accumulate!

I have been saying to my family for the past six months when summer gets here I'm doing a major cull of everything. WELL . . .
Yesterday I spent the day in Marshall's apartment in OKC moving boxes and clothes back to Tulsa -- From his packing plan of taking only what will fit in his pick-up I can see it coming . . . another one of those moves that part gets left to our garage, attic or his abandoned room upstairs.

Where did all this stuff come from???

Whenever our kids have made a move -- Tulsa seemed to be a drop-off point for a few of those things they couldn't quite part with or need in their new place. As a Mom, I'm holding on to those little reminders of every stage of their lives. When our parent's homes sold, their keepsakes were divided and we received some cherished items that we can't part with just yet.

A friend of our's at LifePark even did a music video to a Christian song "Things" and used our attic and garage for the video clips b/c we had the most JUNK! To our defense we have become the storage shed for the church while we're waiting on our new building to be built. As you can see from the picture above our garage holds two church lawn mowers, a wheelchair for the Honduran medical mission, western decorator pieces for the cabins we hope to build on the property some day and a stuffed coyote. (Our kids are still asking what's the use for that?)

I read magazine articles on organization and every 2-3 years I sort and do a major toss. It seems in the interim we take on more things --
People used to refer to my collection of teaching supplies, flower decorations, travel souveniers, fabric remnants and old collectible dishes as "Jan's Junk". When my mother died and we closed out her house, my brother was going to give all her craft boxes to Goodwill, I could see a teaching "need" for those and quickly retrieved them from the toss pile.

Our daughter, Bethany, is what her aunt describes as a "minimalist" and as she looked over our accumulation last fall said, "I'm not looking forward to some day having to deal with all this -- it's time to toss -- I reminded her who's college boxes are still in the attic. Bethany's rule is if you add one item you have to toss something else.
Something I read last week said if it's not useful to you in the next six months, beautiful to enjoy or highly valuable then discard it. Problem is as a teacher and crafter I see a project or teaching object in EVERYTHING!

My rationale for keeping was -- when the kids get their own places they may need this overstuffed chair, old recliner or table. Well they're about settled now and they're not taking it!

My goal for the summer is to sort, reorganize and pare down to only what we can use, enjoy or share with others. I've put the attic off until now -- Do I really need that many toys or baby clothes for my grandkids some day? Will kids still be playing with transformers and leggos in 2015? How many stuffed animals can one toddler hug, anyway?

The Hebrews passage "throw off every weight that hinders" has convicted me. Max Lucado wrote of this concept in "Traveling Light". Getting rid of what is cluttering our walk, not just in the realm of spiritual or mental -- but I also believe in the physical..


I've decided to pray for the "spirit of toss" to be able to know what to hold on to and what to throw. Lord, show me what I need to keep for Your work, give to somebody who needs, and what to TOSS! I can be more productive if I'm traveling lighter!

Hmmm . . .my office is stacked, with every THING I've moved home from school and my last two months of Sunday school lessons. I guess I know where I start today.

Monday, June 1, 2009

A Goal Reached and Moving On . . .




YOU DID IT! CONGRATS TO YOU, DR. MARSHALL T. BELL!!!

All those Kaplan study sessions you went to at OSU to prepare for your MCAT, those grueling tests for each of the 12 segments of your first two years of Med School, the Boards you've taken twice -- and the hours of rotation at the hospital it's all behind you, now.

Your Dad and I are proud of you. But more than that, we respect the man you've become. Your love for people, respect for the hurting and desire to help remind us of the boy growing up who always had a heart to help others.

We raised you and Bethany with the verse, "to whom much is given, much is required." As a family we have been given so many wonderful experiences and opportunities as well as blessed with knowing so many of God's special people. I believe I see that scripture being displayed in the way you and Bethany approach your life's callings.

The weekend was wonderful spending family time with Bethany & Mat and your Uncle Allen and getting to meet your friends over Earl's BBQ. They all had so many great things to say about you.

You always say that when we Bells get together everybody has to bring a story and each one better top the one just before it. (We get kind of rowdy at the table telling our stories) No Bell family function would be complete without a tale to tell and your episode of running an armed burglar out of your neighbor's apartment yesterday just before graduation has to top the list!

It was a great day and we thank God for the grace He's given to bring you to his Happy Place in your life. We celebrate with you! Love, Mom & Dad

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