God is in CONTROL

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Baby "HOPE" GROWS STRONGER


As Bethany is now in her 26th week, Miss Campbell HOPE Good is giving hard kicks and seems to have her particular likes and dislikes. When her mamma does yoga -- she gets really involved and starts kicking up a storm. She seems to like their dog, Dirvey, who enjoys snuggling up next to her in her momma's tummy. I'm not sure Baby Hope likes going to school each day -- it was a really tough week for Bethany and her -- but she's a bit too young for K-4th, anyway. Not sure she likes morning and afternoon bus duty any more than her momma does.


Bethany had to go for an unexpected ultrasound and the tech said Campbell was yawning. I can't imagine what that would have been like for Terry and I to see Bethany or Marshall so vividly. -- in our day ultrasounds were pretty blurry and fuzzy.







Meanwhile, we're all working on our projects for her arrival. Bethany has been antiquing letters for her room decor, I've made 27 yards of polka dot piping and
am crocheting frantically to complete her afghan. Mat's gonna do the painting and Spring Break we want to get the bedding complete and the room set up.



We continue to thank God for each day Campbell has to grow and become strong!
God is at work in all of this and HE makes all things GOOD and WONDERFUL!!!

Psalm 139

Friday, February 19, 2010

It's been a good week . . .

I got this return call last Sat. night and it was our little friend telling us she was excited to have "Aunty Jan Day" with me on her NO SCHOOL DAY on Monday -- our President's Day vacation
These are special times for the two of us -- we do projects, make a regular trip to Wal-Mart, talk a lot and keep this whole routine she likes to do every time she comes to our house. Ten minutes before her mom picked her up she looked up at me hinting for a sweet snack and said, "I thought we'd get to make some chocolate chip cookies while I was here." She didn't buy my explanation that Uncle Terry and I had given up cookies in pursuit of a leaner body.

She makes up stories for me and I find myself caught up in her tales and trying to get her to embellish them a little more. Our little friend can see the whole world in a lady bug, a patch of wild strawberries or some small acorns on the driveway. When I spend time with her, observing life from the eyes of a six yr. old, I get caught up in the "real stuff" of life and all the other big people stuff doesn't seem to matter so much.

It was a great way to celebrate the Presidents with a precocious little gal who could some day could be the leader of the free world.

The rest of the week, my classes went well - -
In my life skills class we're finishing up a parenting unit -- and passed "Baby Think It Over" around the room on Thursday. (With everything that has happened with Bethany -- I had to wait a bit before continuing this unit.)
Every two minutes the students would have to hand it off to another person to care for -- which would make the baby start to scream and wail again. The person then tries to feed, burp, rock or change the baby's diaper (which has an electronic sensor sewn in). If the head falls slightly it makes the baby really angry and it cries for two more minutes. This went on for three class periods. By the end of it all, my nerves were shot and I wanted to scream and wail myself!!!

Marinelle and I hope that these babies will teach a powerful lesson about waiting for parenthood; This afternoon a gal in her Parenting and Child Develoment Class who was required to take the baby home for a 24-hour period, rushed back in an hour after school the "mechanical baby" screaming. She asked for Mrs. M, moaning, "I can't take it any longer -- I'm gonna have to give this kid back -- I'm never having kids!!!" Evidentally the controls got stuck and the two-minute crying jag went on for two to three hours.

Today was senior take-over day -- my Youth Alive President, Sydney, was "Mrs. Bell" She started each class for me and helped me get a lot of notebooks graded and earned lunch out with me for all her hard work!!!


Best news of the week -- today I got an invitation to Bethany's baby shower in Kansas City !!!Tomorrow she will be at 25 weeks. Campbell Hope is up to one pound three ounces the perinatologist reports.
Bethany plans to return to her teaching post this next Monday morn. Her special friends from Tulsa are joining her today for a gal's weekend in KC. BTW on THursday night Bethany and Mat found out French Silk pie makes "Baby Hope" really active!!!
. . .Thinking she must have a sweet tooth like her Granny Jan!

Monday, February 15, 2010

UPDATE

Just got a text msg. from Bethany and Mat. They were leaving the perinatologist visit. He is the doctor that did the ultra sound two weeks ago when their loss was discovered.
This week he reported that Campbell has grown the appropriate amount, weighs about 1 lb. 3 oz, is normal size and says overall things look good. He went on to say that each day they get further past when they lost Parker, their chances of NOT losing Campbell increase. Still some unknowns, but they were pleased with the appointment!
Tomorrow is their visit with the OB Specialist for at-risk pregnancies.


This grandmother spent her President's day vacation working on the Baby Hope Nursery Project -- cutting the pieces for the crib accessories!

Thank you all for your continued prayers.

Friday, February 12, 2010

UPDATE


I love symbols. I see them in the Word everywhere. When our kids are going through a rough time and in need of more prayer I often wear a piece of jewelry that they gave to me to remind me to talk to God on their behalf that day. Mat's mother, Jan, gave me a Pandora bracelet for Christmas and so I decided we both needed this precious little girl charm to honor Parker and be a visual reminder to be in constant prayer for Baby Hope.

Bethany has continued this week to follow the course of walking, rest, lots of water and protein shakes. Baby Hope (Campbell Hope Good) has become more active and likes to start her kicking at about 5 am. We feel these are all good signs and praise God for her activity. She maintains a steady heartbeat of 145 - 151!

The verse that came this morning was "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13
I asked God to knit her together well and strong and healthy while I keep knitting on her blanket and that we'd do this project together -- I'd knit with these beautiful pastel yarns and pray -- as He did his wonderful miracle with our Baby Hope knitting her spirit and flesh.

In the next four days Bethany and Mat have three different doctor visits to evaluate the situation and map a plan for the remaining weeks of this pregnancy. Please pray for the doctors attending them to have wisdom and sensitivity to their situation.
Thank you for your kind words and prayers . . . they have been so appreciated this week as it has been a time when Parker's loss was felt more keenly by all of us.

Thank you God for your hand of protection and surrounding love over our kids and granddaughters -- both Campbell and Parker, who is now with you. I love the prayer that my friend Dana wrote about our Father God playing with Baby Parker.

Saturday, February 6, 2010




. . . Holy women of the past who put their HOPE in God. . . 1 Peter 3:5
I found that passage this week as I read verse after verse about HOPE . . .

I was reminded of Hannah and The Shunamite woman -- I've mentioned them before in my blogs -- they are my heroines in the Scriptures because both were women who wanted children so very badly and prayed in faith for those children.

The Doppler device came in yesterday afternoon and Bethany put it to good use -- checking Baby Hope's heartbeat several times -- loud and clear 153!!! How much that little machine the size of an old transistor radio keeps our hope strong.

Prayers are literally being offered up around the world. So many people have connected to family and friends and asked them to pray. Her daddy and I are awed by the responses of so many.

. . . This momma hates to go home today and leave her precious kids . . . I'm seeing them trust and rely on the ONE in whom they have put their HOPE.

Friday, February 5, 2010

BABY HOPE


So many different comfirmations of the Word "HOPE" have been sent during the past 36 hours. Two of Bethany's best friends have dreamed of little baby girls named "HOPE". These same precious gals sent Iris to Bethany b/c that flower symbolizes HOPE. Another friend called today to describe a dream about her baby and that baby's name was "Hope".

The HOPE scripture had been so strong in my mind for several hours.
For now, Mat and Bethany are calling their little daughter "Baby Hope" instead of Baby A as the clinicians had termed her. Every medical person who examines Bethany talks about how active and what a fighter she is. Yesterday's heartbeat indicated that.
KEEP IT UP -- Baby HOPE! We love you soooooo much!

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my HOPE comes from him.
Psalm 62:5

Thursday, February 4, 2010

BEATING STRONG 130-140 beats/min

Just a quick update -- the doppler reading today for our baby was a very strong 130-140. One technician couldn't be sure if it was Bethany's heartbeat or baby's, which made Bethany anxious -- A second one came in, took the reading and when asked if it was indeed the baby's or Bethany's heart we were hearing -- said "If it was YOUR heart -- we'd have to rush you to ICU." Yes, this is a good strong heartbeat. She's sounds good! What an awesome lady -- she loved on Bethany , gave her a direct line to her personal phone and told her to call and come in any time she felt anxious. I said she wanted to take care of her during this time. Just what this momma and grandmomma needed to hear.
Thank you Lord!

HOPE

It's early -- we're waiting for a trip to the OB's office at 9:30 to do a doppler check on our tiny precious one's heartbeat -- and then later today we're anticipating the arrival of a doppler machine by express mail. These past 48 hours my thoughts can be described as hanging on one word "hope" One verse keeps running through my head:

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

If only I could take this pain away from our kids, I would do it in a nanosecond. It is gut-wrenching to watch your children in anguish yet at the same time . . .

Watching them trust in their God, leaning on prayer and the prayers of so many others who have responded to their needs, touches me deeply and restores my spirit.

HOPE it's a power-packed word -- but behind it is the Living GOD in whom we trust and HOPE. We trust HIS will to be good and perfect. . . that puts confidence in our HOPE. We allow Him to be Sovereign.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

SCRUBS


Marshall, came in from Denver on Tuesday about three hours after we got to KC.

Monday night he had been at the hospital on a "post-call shift" --left about 10 pm --to get 4 1/2 hours of sleep and then made it back to the hospital to check on his patients. He explained Bethany's situation to his Attending Physician and discovered this doctor's wife had gone through this with their twins. He allowed Marshall to leave right then. He didn't go back to his house -- called me from the hospital and said he was coming also, if we didn't think that would be too overwhelming for Bethany and Mat -- We chose not to tell the kids -- and inwardly knew what a blessing he would be to the both of them. His coming was a welcome surprise.

Marshall had gone to work that morning in scrubs-- grabbed a few more pair for the trip -- didn't even get a coat and started the nine-hour drive. When he arrived dressed like that, we all tried to share clothes -- he insisted that he was comfortable just as he was. He was what we all needed and as we gathered around the dining table on Tuesday night, Bethany thanked her Father God that her family was with her and that her brother had made the trip. Marsh brought such optimism and hope to the whole family.

He took off for home at about 11 am this morning still in scrubs, having borrowed a coat from Mat. He called last night to say he had been pulled over somewhere in Kansas for speeding. He said the officer asked him WHY he was dressed like that -- he explained the situation -- and the officer said his wife had experienced a similar one. He gave him a warning and kindly sent him on his way.

We had prayed for Marshall's safe return. . . and we got even more God used a set of scrubs to open doors and find even yet another person who had endured the same trial.

Bethany's Update

For those of you who would like to keep abreast of what has happened with Bethany in the last 24 hours, here is her updated blog from this morning in it's entirety. She and Mat remain ever so grateful for the prayers, love and support they have received from so many.
They don't take your prayers lightly -- knowing full well that HE is in control.
I am staying on in KC until the weekend.

First and foremost I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who commented on the last blog. There is no way I could personally contact each of you, but every single comment, brought tears to my eyes and hope to my heart. Knowing that there are literally people all over the world praying for this teeny-tiny little person inside me right now is the most surreal feeling. Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, words & scriptures.


Yesterday we had a follow-up with the OB. Ours is out of town, so we saw a different dr. who was fantastic. She squeezed us in between C-sections and gave us all the time in the world. Twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome is incredibly rare. So rare in fact that she MIGHT see 1 case in 10 years. (We just keep blowing the odds - first twins, then identical, then ttts - geez. Well FYI we are going to keep blowing the odds when this little miracle is born) Since it is so incredibly rare, questions are hard to answer and best left up to our perinatologist. Anyways. Through her help and the help of our fabulous "virtual" OB & family friend Jenny Keller in Vermont, we have learned that if we can make it to 25 weeks her chances drastically go up. (25 weeks for a singleton is more like 23-24 for a twin - so ideal would be 26-27.) At that point she has approximately 80% chance of survival if we can get steroids going and all goes well after she is born. Of course, if she isn't ready to come out yet - then we want her to stay nice and cozy inside me. I will be going in every other week for a special ultrasound at the perinatologist in which they measure the direction of the blood flow through her heart. If it goes in the right direction, fantastic. If not, we start steroid therapy immediately and I will be induced. We are very blessed that the hospital I was planning on delivering at has the best NICU around- so if we end up needing to use it, it's the best place for her. The unfortunate thing is that I could lose her in the next few weeks and not have any of the typical signs of losing a baby, so my doctor has offered for me to come in for daily fetal heart rate checks if I want. We went a step BEYOND that a just rented the silly machine so I can do it 10 times a day if I want. The doctor has me at home for the next 2 weeks, but not on bed rest. We need blood flow to be happening for her to have her best chances at life, so I am supposed to go on short walks (yeah a year ago I was training like crazy to run the big Sur Marathon. Now I get to walk to the corner and back - funny how life changes) and be moderately active while getting extra rest & tons of hydration (no exercise, no lifting, no cleaning, no added stress) but being completely sedintary hurts her chances. Mat has been doing some research and found out about a therapy that could be optional at this point. So he will be doing a follow-up with our perinatologist today to discuss pursuing that. Unfortunately, he couldn't be with me on Monday at the perinatologist's visit. We had no reason to think anything was wrong and he can only get off for so many appointments and have any type of paternity leave left over - so he wasn't there to ask the right questions and I was too emotional to do so. I always joked with him about his role was as my husband not as my doctor. Now I am so glad to have him as both.


As far as complications after birth, we aren't even going there right now. We are obviously going to love this baby no matter what. That clearly goes without saying. We will cross any and all bridges at the time they arise. As any parent would, we are praying for her to be 100% healthy and strong. We are believing that she will have a mighty story to tell one day. The important thing is to focus on Baby A and staying strong and optimistic for her. One of the biggest things both our virtual OB and our doctor have said is to stay positive - it really does make a difference for the baby. Night before last I dreamed that I was feeding a beautiful baby girl with blond curls. I am choosing to believe that dream will become very real soon. (For some reason she was in dorky clothes and I was feeding her cocoa-puffs, but whatever, she was ours and with US)


Mat and I have been so incredibly touched over the past few days. While we find ourselves tearing up randomly as we think about losing Baby B, we are overwhelmed at the kindness of our friends and family. Honestly, I can't really going into the pain of losing Baby B right now on a blog. At times I find myself not being able to breathe as I try to take it all in. As so many who have experienced the devastating pain of loosing a baby have expressed, it is too intimate for words - at least right now for me it is. That time will come and I am sure I will share parts of it. Right now the experience has to do with the dichotomy of losing one baby while fervently fighting for the life of another.


Currently our house is engulfed in a garden of beautiful flowers from friends and family. We had an incredibly yummy dinner brought in by one of my best friends last night. My parents drove up from Oklahoma. My brother drove in from DENVER and shocked the pants off me - and of course made me start crying, again. 3 of my best friends in Oklahoma have vowed to drive up at a moments notice if need be. We've had phone calls, emails, texts, voicemails and we are feeling so incredibly loved and supported. We've heard about churches and small groups all over the world - literally - praying for our little girl. Through all of this, we are learning to let go and let God. (I know, I know, I sound like a cheesy sign at church, but that is truly what my heart is learning right now) There is nothing we can do except pray and stay positive. At church we've been talking a lot about how Jesus alone is enough. I woke up thinking about that this morning - no matter what may happen, we have Jesus. This promise calms me in the scary times when I start to think, "what if..." His love has been made so incredibly real to us over the past day and half that it just makes me weepy.
Through devastation and heart break we have felt so much love and hope. A dear friend of mine shared this scripture with me yesterday:


When you pass through the waters I will be with you,
and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned,
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God, The Holy One of Israel,
your Savior.
Isaiah 43: 2-3


I've always intended not to get "preachy" on my blog, but this scripture filled me with peace yesterday. Thank you to all of you - you have touched us beyond words.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My heart is heavy and my mind is on overload. One of our granddaughters has not survived. Bethany is 22 weeks and will need to be very careful for the next few weeks. We ask your prayers for this very special granddaughter yet to be born.
The doctor used the term twin to twin transfusion syndrome. We're trusting God.

At the same time early this morning that I was awake and blogging so was our sweet Bethany. I have included her words because I am asking that you all stand in prayer for the specific things she is asking:

It's 3:36 am and my mind won't stop racing. We found out yesterday afternoon at our ultrasound with the perinatologist that we lost one of the twins. It was absolutely devastating news. It's a whole other story, that I can't go into right now. It looks like the girls were identical twins and suffered from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome in which one baby gets more of the nutrients than the other. Having identical twins is pretty rare, unfortunately, having this icky disease is not. The highest time of risk is between 16 and 24 weeks. We were originally told that our babies didn't fall into this category and that it wasn't anything to worry about. Clearly the events at yesterday's appointment were completely off our radar.

We are crushed to say the least. While we rejoice in the life of our other baby (Baby A), we morn for the one we lost (Baby B). (** Please not that the names A & B have nothing to do with the events, it is simply what they doctor's call them based on their position inside my uterus) I have so many questions and feelings whirling around in my brain, I don't even know where to start with that. The past 2 1/2 weeks have been such a roller coaster of emotions. We are just kind of a big fat mess right now, not knowing which way to think or feel at times. Confusion. Hurt. Sadness. Questions. Concern.
While I could write on and on trying to clear my head, I need to ask you - whoever you are reading our blog- to stand in prayer for Baby A. It seems that Baby A is now at an increased risk of not surviving. She is also at an even more increased risk of developing neurological complications or cerebral palsy. The next 2 1/2 weeks are critical. I don't think there will be a time in the pregnancy where we will be "out of the woods" from what I understand. Some of the complications might not appear until after she is born. It's a wait and see type game where there isn't a whole lot we can do - other than pray. Mat and I firmly believe in the power of prayer and ask you to pray specifically for the following things:
-Pray for the strength of this little girl, Baby A. She is quite a little fighter.
-Pray for her continual development, both physically and mentally.
-Pray for the doctor's that we will be seeing over the next few weeks.
-Pray for us to have insight and wisdom as to do what is best for her.


The verse I am focusing on and praying over Baby A right now is:
"May the God of Hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

We firmly believe that God won't give us more than we can handle- whatever that may be. We are staying positive and sending lots of love and positive energy to this little girl. We ask you to do the same. We need to hear positive stories right now, success stories.

We have already been touched with so many kind words, phone calls, texts, e-mails, offers of food, prayer support etc. My family is on their way into town and we know without a doubt that we aren't going through this alone.


Terry and I love you all and are so blessed to have family we can ask this request of.

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