God is in CONTROL

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A New Chapter





It has been 44 years that my husband has been in ministry -- a  ministry that has taken him all over the world as well as various congregations in many states.  Through it all,  he has had a servant's heart and wanted to see the Church grow.  As he matured in ministry he moved to the larger dimension of the Kingdom and believed that Christ's body was bigger than a small denomination.  He has influenced many young people through his work as  an adjunct professor which began in the early 80's  in Lubbock, TX.  

 I remember hearing him preach for the first time when I was a sophomore in college and praying to marry a man like that -- 18 months later we started dating while Terry was a youth minister for my home congregation (often taking the youth group on our dates)   18 months later we were married.
AND THE REST IS HISTORY - as the saying goes . . .


 Ministry has always been a dynamic of our marriage.  Pastoral visits, elder board meetings, Sunday school supervision at times, fellowship potlucks, visiting missionaries to host, traveling to speaking engagements and being with our people in their joys and their sorrows, AND being blessed to see the Body of Christ all over the world. 

 Forty-two of those years Terry has been my senior pastor except for a short span when he was in graduate school.  I have grown in my faith under his teaching.

I’ve been with him through these times of growth, and reflection,
Times of loss and disappointment – 

I have watched his constancy to stand for what is right and seek the good in people.
At times he was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt when I wouldn’t. 

In those years of ministry God has been with us every step of the way.

He has had no patience for Church politics and those power plays in the church.  .  .  His concern has always been for the health and unity of the Body of Jesus and he believes those under-handed tactics had no place in a healthy Church.  People who became disgruntled he helped them to find a place they would be more content and always helped them to know that "Once a Lifer - Always a Lifer" as he often says.  


This past Sunday began a new chapter in both our lives.  He will no longer be the Senior Pastor of Life Park Christian Fellowhip that we helped to plant in West Tulsa 15 years ago.  He'll move out of the "driver's seat to the front passenger" seat as Mondo and Leeca Jenkins begin their role in Senior Ministry.  We have been blessed in getting to know this precious family and look forward to their leadership as we move forward.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Jesus On this journeY

That's the best definition of joy in this phase of life.  Jesus On this journeY.  I'm finding it has to be a day-to-day decision to invite HIM on this trek.  Daily, I have to set my mind's eye on HIM or I get caught up in the diagnosis and can quickly fall in to fear.  

When I first heard the "c" word --(I still have a hard time saying it)--I remembered what I've heard from cancer survivors - that they learned to appreciate each day as a gift.

I decided to look for the joy-makers. 

Some joy-makers and "God-stops"  this week are -- (God stops are where I just have to stop and say -- "God did this!")

Campbell belly-laughing when Pablo the
puppet shows up unexpectedly at their Christmas program.

When I got this at school, I just had to laugh!

My friend, Pam, on Thursday, gave me a list of two teachers every hour who will take over if I need to leave my class at any time to rest during the days after chemo.

Marinelle, has moved to Lake Eufala, but insists she can come in to Tulsa and sub for me!  I can't believe this beautiful friend!  This is HUGE and has lifted a big huge weight from my shoulders.



Flowers from Bethany's long-time friend Cori - a day after we got the first word - while we were waiting on more tests and doctor visits.  Every time I passed them in the past two weeks I had to smile and remember God's blessings come from his special people.


A visit from my dear friend Geeta - to bring some special needful things -- pajamas and a beautiful tote to carry things back and forth to chemo. 


This one may be my second choice --

Wig shopping today with Bethany.  -- so glad to face that one head-on.
The thought of losing my hair has been a biggie-- anything but a joy-bringer.   -- All I could think of was losing my wig in front of a class of 30+ kids-- or the problem of having to pull it down.  





Terry's never sure if I have my wig on or not -- it must look like the real deal!

I reasoned if I were going to be bald - I needed to try to figure out a positive somewhere. 
Not spending time drying my hair in the mornings --
Not having a bad hair day -- if you like your wig -- you'll always have a good hair day
Sorry, that was all I could come up with.
Thinking about a little guy at KU with no hair -- feeling a new empathy for him.

There they are-- my biggies-- baldness, nausea and fatigue..  I know God has a plan for all of that. But the idea of my body being bombarded with so many chemicals and every cell attacked with powerful drugs does take my breath.

Bethany suggested we go to Wigs n'. More on 81st and Harvard.  The owner who met us as we came in was upbeat -- no - gushing and all sorts of "I'm so sorry" and sympathy -- just - "let's get busy -- we can help".  She set out to guide me through the process of how to put them on -- how to care for them and teaching me all the basics.  She was so approachable  and taught me tons!  

B decided we needed to text T to convince him I got this one.





















 

As we left the store the owner shared a book on healing scriptures.   That was my "God-stop" for today.  I felt HE put this special encounter together.  I had to call her later to thank her for her special kindness and sensitivity.  Another weight lifted. 

These sweet babies were waiting with Papa when we returned.
Everybody has headgear today.
 
C's favorite hat -- not really THAT cold out --
but she had to wear it










Syd decided Papa had to put something on his head
Jack's grey hair


So many people are praying 
I don't take that lightly


So many sweet offers for help.


Our kids (all four of them) who are all taking such great care of us

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

the coming months


God has surrounded me with such beautiful expressions of caring and kindness.  My administrators have been awesome and being with my students really lifts my spirits.  My wonderful husband and kids and g'babies are the very best!  My co-workers have expressed so much support and caring.  Just having someone every day at my door when I get there ask about the previous day's test makes me know that I'm not alone in this.

I just got a text from one of my Youth Alive teens who said he had just learned of my diagnosis and said he'd be praying.  NOW THAT -- makes me weepy. 

Everyday something makes me that way and always something makes me LAUGH.  Laughter is good medicine -- God said so.  I'm buying it.

Yesterday after I told my 3rd hour about the challenges we all face and now I had one that I never EXPECTED to have.  I promised them we'd all get through it and be better on the other side --
One of my shy students pulled me in the hall and told me about his brother's family who had been in a bad wreck on Sunday and asked me if I would pray.  He could barely speak to me at the beginning of the semester and now he trusts me enough share this with me.  What an honor to pray for them.

The first major tests are back and a plan has been put it place ---
I have kept saying "I just wish I knew what to expect for the next few months"

Yesterday, when I met with my oncologist -- I SAW what the next 5 months would look like.
He told me it was in the lymph nodes and felt it was aggressive and rather large.  He said Stage 3 -- For that reason:
Chemo (16 treatments) -- 'said I'd be losing my hair in the first few weeks -- (Bethany is already shopping for wigs) --
Nausea (maybe -- maybe NOT) -- fatigue. Surgery.  Then radiation.

However -- he was confident we'll beat this!  You bet we will --

I told him I'm still teaching and he said "Good -- go when you feel up to it"  I asked about yoga -- he told me no downward dogs until the port site heals -- but the people who are active and connected have the best chance of this not recurring.  He said it helps to fight that fatigue.  He kept saying walking was the best thing.

Jesus is on this Journey ---- I know-- because He gives me something fresh every morning.  Today's devotional was all about a family facing the same decisions Terry and I are.

Now -- next on MY agenda -- getting T to the ENT to get that tumor on HIS thyroid removed.


Saturday, December 13, 2014

Manna Verses

Campbell's verse from preschool last week - I'm diggin' it!!!
I love how the Lord fed the Israelites every day with just enough physical food.    Someone taught me years ago about MANNA VERSES - and how if we listen to HIS SPIRIT in us -- He will bring those to mind. Thoughts from His word to help us stay the course that day.   I love how every day HE's put a song or verse there.  Some days he has to bombard the worry and fear with it to bring back my focus.


The past few nights I've been awake from 2-4 trying to figure out the next six months and how to manage my classroom -- my healing -- and my family.  
I've tried to teach my life skills students  the Plan Process and that when we face problems we make a plan and work the plan.  I've challenged them to accept 3 life challenges for the semester and to work those challenges in different ways.  NOW, I'm the one with the LIFE CHALLENGE -


GOD also sends us something to laugh about -- I believe that part of HIS loving us and healing us is helping us to laugh.  I also believe that He's got the "not yet" covered and He wants us to live in the now . . . with HIM . . .  I'm a planner and organizer -- OK -- WORRIER.


The other day right after I got tough results from the first biopsy, I got a text from one of my Youth Alive girls to tell me she was praying for me.  I texted back telling her that the verse the students had chosen as our theme verse for the year - is  so perfect for this time in my own life. .  I texted the wrong verse which had her totally confused, trying to figure out what must be WRONG with me if THAT verse was my guide.

God is Good all the time. . . while we're waiting on the PET scan and oncology visit on Tuesday..

Monday, December 8, 2014

Joymakers

So today's doctor visit wasn't quite what I had planned --
I immediately liked her -- she was kind, sensitive, to the point and professional with a heart that showed she cared.  HOWEVER, she said she thinks it's more extensive that previously thought -- she even put a number to it -- Stage 3. . .  she called it tricky or something ... BUT . . . she DOES have to do more testing. She did a needle aspiration today, there's an MRI and PET scan coming up and all the result will be compiled to set up a plan on Dec. 23.
In the meantime -- I'm going to center my thoughts on some of my "JOY Makers"




Having my family all together
Hearing her "take" on life!!!  She makes me laugh!


Watching Campbell teach Syd and then seeing Syd mimic C




Our annual Children's Nutcracker Ballet




Texts, phone calls  and Face Time with our CO KIDS --  
Last week they were doing double duty checking on my results and Terry's as well as Jan Good's
Anticipating Syd's next antics
Watching Jack's little personality develop










Sitting with the G men in Church
















Sharing grandparenting and life's special moments with this guy. . .


enjoying teaching KU and Sunday School

J O Y



OK - so it was one of my impulse buys -- but I had seen a Pinterest pic this summer of 3 wreaths and in each wreath were the letters J-O-Y -- thinking that would carry a real message for my outdoor Christmas decorating.

Mid- summer I bought three six inch wooden ones and sprayed them gold - -I found a reason to use them in Sunday school (which justified my purchase, I reasoned) -- 

This year -- instead of on the wreaths outside -- I decided I'd hang them on the mantle.  We'd been struggling with T's extreme pain and I thought it'd be a good mental boost for us.  A real reminder to be happy in Jesus.

As all of this has transpired with biopsies and results and waiting on tests -- I believe those are the words that best describe the mindset we are supposed to adopt at this time.

It reminded me of the Shunamite woman in the Bible who in the throes of losing her child - sent for the prophet Elisha.   When asked --her response "it is well" knowing that God was in control.  I want to be so anchored in God with all of this that my heart is calm and I know that HE is guiding the process.

What a Difference a Day Makes . . .


Last Tuesday  morning I was quickly perusing the next lesson in a Bible study I am doing on the book of James.
I came to the James 4:15 passage -- What is your life? -- you are but a vapor -- and hurriedly read it because I was so busy with plans for the day ahead.

Tuesday opened a new chapter in my life . . .
About 11:00 I get a text from Terry that says -- "Call me when you get a chance ."
OK -- I can do that -- students just left the room -- it was time for lunch and planning period.
He says that the dr. office called and his biopsy report is back -- it shows possible thyroid cancer and it will require surgery -- he tried to make it sound like - no big deal.

About 10 minutes later - I get a call from the breast center -- I knew they would be calling -- b/c they told me the day before that I'd get a courtesy call to make sure that I was doing fine from my biopsy.  She asked the standard questions and then said -- I need to talk to you about your results -- are you where you can discuss this -- I said I was -- even though I was standing near an outside door to get better phone reception.
She said it shows cancer in your right breast.  CANCER? WHAT -- THE NEXT STEP WAS TO TELL ME I NEEDED ANOTHER BIOPSY-- NOT GIVE ME THESE RESULTS SO QUICK--

As I'm trying to get my head around it all, I said something like -- "Is there a chance this is a benign area?"

She said ma'am -- "CANCER IS CANCER".  "Do you have a surgeon? "

  A surgeon???  What are they going to do -- whack it off?
 
Well ...
"That changes the course of the next months", I thought.

I was floored --
Students came in to my room to check on a project --- I mumbled through something ---

I went upstairs to Marianne's room-- she'd just fought this battle last year with so much strength and dignity -- I needed to talk to her and ask the name of her doctor.

I tried to put my mind around what they told me I needed to do next. ---

Next I told Pam --  long time friend -- from Wright Christian days -she has constantly checked on me every day since then.

Then I told my principal who responded in a way that surprised me
"Have you been getting mammograms, he asked?" in a fatherly way
That was odd -- from my administrator who is 20 years younger than me ---(His mother had just gone through all of this, he explained --)

Yes I told him so -- every year  -- now every 3-6 months  (looks like it has developed in the last 3 months)* 


On Wednesday I opened that study of James 4:15 -- it smacked and I started to walk away from it--but kept reading -- it offered so much strength and soul food, reminding me-- "We're here because HE wills that we live another day"  HE has this all in control

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES!!!! 

Throughout the last 7 days so many friends have given me doctor names, healing stories and words of support.  My principals have checked on me -- offered their prayers --  Friends are truly God's gift!!!

* Here is the God- Stop in all of this.  After my August diagnostic mammogram -- the breast center said they'd do a re-check in 6 months -- I reminded them I was due for a yearly in 3 months -- it was decided they'd move it up 3 months and double check me in Nov.  I believe God was in the process of early detection.

Blog Archive

Followers