Roller Coaster Ride

I sailed through my chemo on Thursday -- had a strong day on Friday and even caught up with my school work on Friday evening and posted grades!!!  I was sailing high -- thinking about how I'd never felt quite this good the day after treatments.  On Friday afternoon I got my last neulasta shot and by Sat. morning could hardly get out of bed.  It's been a rough weekend -- queasiness even with the meds and wakefulness half of last night.  The nurse explained as she "shot" me that the reason these tired times come is b/c my bone marrow is working double time to produce enough white cells for the ones that the meds had been killing.

My spirit felt dry and I wanted so badly to make it to Life Park today - The last two weekends I was too ill to make it ... it felt like forever since I'd been with our Church family.
I knew what my soul  needed. .  .I wanted to be there for Praise and Worship. . . I was so fragile that every person's hug made me weepy -- but as we continued to sing - I got stronger on the inside of me.

Mondo's message on covenant from Genesis 15 - struck a cord.  He brought so much out of it:

He hit on vs. 1-2 -- Where God tells Abram -- "I am your shield -- your very great reward"  I have taken that verse to heart often, here lately.  But he mentions that after such a profound statement -- Abram asks --"But what about that son you were going to give me."  i..e -- forget the reward -- where's the kid?
Mondo reminded us that the first time God gives the promise of decendants HE has Abram look DOWN at the sand -- the next time He has him look UP at the stars. . . I'd never paid any attention to that.

Then he goes on to explain the whole cutting covenant process with the livestock and the fact that God walks through those animals by Himself  -- HE never asks Abram to walk through it with Him as was custom with a covenant -- it's like HE said -- HERE, I'll do this for you -- you don't have to do a thing!  So many reminders God is taking care of all of this now and will in the months to come.

We went late and left early b/c visiting is hard when I'm that weak -- as we were pulling away, Brenda's little elementary class rushed the car with cards they had made for me.  As we were making a quick exit out a side door -- she kicked it into high gear and rushed her kiddos out the same to catch us.
Driving away, we both agreed -- that we needed to be there and yes, Mondo is fulfilling his role in a powerful way.

With Pam Bandy's yummy chicken noodle soup -- which I scarfed down -- a good nap -- Joel and Mitzi's prayers for my strength and healing -- I'm on my way up!!!