Every good and perfect gift . . . James 1:17

It's been a SEASON of gifts -- each and every one special and significant . . .

A special plate and Brownie mix from Keilah -- bought with her own money from her first job -- Aaah! sweet!

Hats and headgear from Pam and Cassie.  These girls not only cover my head but all sorts of other needs.

Last Friday at my low point -- a gift box arrived from Gay  -- who's been coaching and talking me through this -- it was full of  specialties -- like teas for the tummy -- cute caps for my head and GINGER SNAPS -- Each one had special significance for this journey


Saturday afternoon -- Bethany asked her Daddy to come babysit while she ran to Whole Foods -- I quickly realized the reason she had him babysit (Mat was on call) was so she could go shop for and get us our meals for the next few days -- she sent flowers from Campbell and a beautiful scarf  for my head.

Sunday's reception for our transition in ministry was a precious occasion.  I still felt weak and overwhelmed -- but  touched by the  tributes I heard --so many talked of Terry's guiding the Church like a father during these 15 years.

There was a treasure chest of cards from former members remembering special times in ministry. 
 Mary Lou Heneger worked so hard to connect with people we have known for many years.  She's been a gift to us through all our years of ministry at ETCC and Life Park.  Life Park gave us a gift certificate to a bed and breakfast of our choice. 
A friend of Linda Barr's who had gotten a breast cancer diagnosis the same week as I, gave me a book by a Tulsa author of facing this challenge.

There was a silver bracelet  from Augenae, Arissa and Bubba, three of our  KU kids and their mom, a beautiful frame from Kim Beard's ladies class  -- Tatanisha and several other ladies gifted as well.  Tasha's family a wonderful plaque -- all Mom's of our KU kids.Those gifts were especially touching
                                                    

Sweet Amy kept me in journaling supplies!

We've received gift cards to help with meals -- a real help with mealtimes on those tired days. 

After my Sunday afternoon nap-- I started to feel like my old self  for about two hours--  I thought "hey maybe I don't have to feel so crummy the whole 22 weeks" --  I slowly did a few things and worked myself up into a big sweat with panting hard to breathe.  But I felt like I was coming back! I have my 2nd treatment in a few days and have seen what the cycle can be like -- that after the LOW -- then you build slowly back.  That in itself was a gift -- the unknown isn't so scary.



Monday I'd been craving tomato soup and I slowly made my way through Owasso's Neighborhood Mkt. --  --I'm opting for the markets -- not as many germs and a whole lot less walking --I was starved for tomato soup -- I passed on the Campbell's( not enough of the herbs and spices) -- I came home to find that  Pam Bandy left three of the most delicious soups -- and the best TOMATO soup in the world. To say I devoured it is an understatement --
I now have several soups in the freezer -- perfect for lunch when that's all I can get down.  (finding I can't eat nearly as much -- maybe that's a gift, too)

Cards from my YA kids on Tuesday -- 3 of our leadership team shopped at Sam's for me for my YA snack fundraiser -- that's huge



About that time more energy -- I developed a new view of the whole thing-- (through Chuck Swindoll and other of my morning devos- I kept hearing :God sends, God directs, God guides and GOD IS IN CONTROL  -- He said --it's about your perception of the situation).  So I decided I needed  new one --

I'm not someone who's got cancer --- GOD AND I ARE KILLING CANCER.  (I'm His work in progress)

   That's empowering!  That gift was a turning for me when fatigue was catching me. 

Melonie, one of my former students,  gave me a dream catcher.She  was one of students last year who also helped us alot at KU and she stops by my room to check on me quite often.

My brother Allen came for a visit on his way to A Medical Mission conference in Ft. Worth late Wed. night --   My sister-in-law, Sandy sent a quilt from my great grandmother Severns -- saying she felt like I needed to be wrapped in family,   That's staying on the couch where I grade and write
 All that catching up was pure joy --FAMILY  is good RX. 

Our babies are an energy gift!!!

Donna and Josh Rother gave Charlie (our Maltese) a new pink dog bed!  He's taken over.  He doesn't get very far from me!

What an overwhelming surprise when I came to school Friday morning-- One of my former students, Bella Loffer brought me a quilt she had her grandmother's church in Bakersfield, California make for me. They stitched it with prayers for my healing and sent accompanying verses. I'm speechless when I think of people everywhere praying and what a beautiful gift from this precious girl and her grandmother. She's a treasure!


Each of these gifts are significant,  The quilt b/c I've helped more than a dozen students make these lap quilts for Sterling House residents across the street from our school -- and told them that they'll never know what their gifts mean. little did I know that in a few weeks I'd receive treasured blankets and quilts

This past weekend I had to be in b/c of an infection and low cells --
Leeca sent a sweet note and peppermint tea, which right now is the 
go-to beverage at our house.

Our kids keep us connected to bigger and busier life than ours is right now -- with their fun texts and pictures) 

 

I've been able to be at school 5 out of the last 6 days since my treatment!  I enjoy the gift of energy more than ever!

My friend, Jeanna came by yesterday to tell me she will come in to help my teaching load - at any time.  WHAT A HUGE GIFT!  Special thanks for her generous gift cards!

Right now after my second treatment, Bethany's close friends took it upon themselves to bring in meals for the next few days. I insisted we're fine - but these girls are determined.
 
                    I STILL HAVE MY HAIR -- WHAT A GIFT!!!

Every good and perfect gifts comes down from the Father -- the verse says --

His gifts are good.  They're from HIM to each of us. They're perfect. and THEY'RE SPECIFIC to each of us.  I am forever grateful to HIM and to each of my family and friends.

Chemo

NOW -
I know what they were talking about in chemo class  when they say FATIGUE.

We were told  of the side effects --I've had minimal ones -- no nausea YAY -- thank you, Jesus!  But FATIGUE - they kept mentioning it.

The RN said the "nadir" point might occur at day 4 or 5 (the point when your cell resistance is at it's lowest)-- I breezed through treatment day and Thursday on steroids -- I was wired not -- tired and couldn't sleep but for 4-5 hours at a time at night.  I went back to school yesterday and got through that.  (My students were so sensitive and caring -- I got kind of bogged down in their stories of cancer in their families.
WHY is there so much cancer???  I am suddenly so much more aware of it!.

THEN about 4 pm yesterday -- the bottom of my energy and stamina dropped out.

FINALLY, I could sleep -- I  have little energy to do much else. 

Saturdays are my days to get it all together for the next week.  Guess today - I'll just work on getting me together~ 

So many posts and verses are coming my way today. I don't have the energy to respond right now -- sorry -- Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers and taking time to think of us on your busy weekend.

This journey I want to be teachable -- not self-absorbed -- but for today -- I'm gonna rest.

One Down -- Fifteen to Go!

I'm tired and a bit weak -- but relieved we're getting it going.  It was a long day with an even longer wait for my family --  Terry and Bethany were there and Katie and Marshall were texting and letting me know they were praying with lots of messages back and forth.  .

We are a TEAM!  - Terry's the best caregiver -- Bethany brought these awesome boxing gloves -- we're gonna beat this!

Hooked up and ready to go -- got some great pre-meds to help the nausea.

Treatment One is Done!

Our hearts were tendered for those who were having a rough day -- those who were alone and those who were struggling -- We agree how very blessed we are -- a young teen was especially in distress today.

I received so many well wishes from our FB friends and family.  That love and support is a life-giver!


The staff at Tulsa Cancer Institute is extremely sensitive and caring.  We are impressed with this organization and their competent staff of physicians, nurses and techs.

We're going to be spending a lot of time here in the next 9 months

I Get By With Help From My Family and Friends

 

One of  Bethany's KC friends made this and used it as a prayer time for our extended familyand the cancer issues three of us are facing.

OK - Let's get it going!!!  The healing is already begun -- let's get the chemo going -- BUT -- I want an ultra sound to see what's been happening in there with people ALL OVER the US praying for me.  I stand amazed  -- and right now am WEEPY -- thinking about the people praying for me.

Monday night was a low point as I looked up the report on my PET scan and it called this cancer extensive.  I had to get my mind around that to manage the fear that wanted to creep up on me.
  I hardly slept last night and I think it was the energy of my friends who spent yesterday  and last night praying for me.

Revelation says that in Heaven that there is a bowl which are the prayers of the Saints -- I don't know if we each have a bowl -- but the "JAN BOWL"  is running over -- God has heard not only my prayers -- but those of so many people in my behalf. -- People who stand in for you when life is whirling so fast with dr. visits and diagnosis that you are numb to the whole process

Jesus tells us the Holy Spirit is always talking to God for us--

.LifePark had special prayers for healing on Sunday -- Mondo prayed over the both of us.  His main point struck a chord with me -- "I will lead you" and he paralleled God's leading Israel as they stood in covenant with him.

God is so good to me!!!   During this time he has sent the most precious people into my life.

Terry has been my rock beside me and my kids are standing with us helping in so many different ways.  It is hard to watch your kids
in pain for you.  All four have taken care of our every need!


A teacher friend  who referred me to my surgeon who tells me she's been praying non-stop  ...  I must be on the prayer list in at list a dozen DIFFERENT churches.

Two friends who went through this last year --  one going through it now

An AP Psych  teacher friend who promises to cut her hair shorter than mine in this whole process is standing on prayer.-- thinking maybe we can both work in a hat day for ourselves LOL if we get it REALLY short.

Our secretary who made the most scrumptious meatballs and scalloped potatoes for several meals and even brought the zip-lock bags to freeze a bunch!

My soul sister who is fasting for me as I start my treatments.

A friend in TX who wakes me up with verses she's texting
My friend in India right now praying with her parents who pray over EVERYTHING --

My childhood and oldest friend praying for me- checking in -- reminding me I can DO THIS.

Friends who are caring for family members have a special empathy and pray for this process

Marinelle always checking on me and offering to help in so many ways

I've mentioned many of  these sweet women before -- but they have NEVER given up -- 
My principals who are praying and standing strong.

 Youth Alive Leadership team members stopped by my classroom yesterday to wish me well and say they are praying -- when kids pray it makes me weepy ---
-- Nathan a leader from two years ago on college break stopped by -- so good to see him -- he's going to lead it today.

.

And my dear sweet friend and hairdresser, Joelle, at Enrique's at 101st and Yale cropped my hair yesterday and prayed for no adverse side effects. She prayed -- I agreed -- We like this short haircut and are standing in agreement to KEEP my hair during this process.  :-)  She gifted the whole process-- saying that it's a ministry she and her husband do. 

My morning blogs get a bit long -- but they are such a help as I reflect on what God is doing and has done. He brings thoughts to mind from verses that "shore me up" for the day. 

HE IS SUCH A GOOD GOOD FATHER -- 
I'm thinking of his name ABBA and El Roi today.

Jesus On this journeY

Jesus On this journeY--

Being at the cancer treatment center with my dear friend and special family, Jan Good, on Tuesday -
caused me to mull many things over in my head and so Wed morn I was awake about 4 am (my usual time for solving all the world and domestic issues on this homefront)

I got to thinking about what was ahead -- and how was I truly going to take this journey with Jesus?

I started breaking apart all the issues that often occupy my mind that early in the morning.  Suddenly I was bombarded with verses.  As I said earlier the ones God brings to mind are FOOD -- real spiritual meat.

Issues like:
Financial ones - dealing with insurance -- these co-pays and out of pocket expenses are starting over.
> Cast your anxiety on him for he cares for you  " 1 Peter 5:7

Managing treatments, teaching and energy drain
> I am the WAY, the truth and the LIFE (on the other side of this) -John 14:6

and "chemo brain"
>I am come that you may have life and have it to the full!" John 10:10

I read Jodie Osteen's book "Healed from Cancer" and she was prompted - regardless of how bad she felt to pray for others.
That verse has been constant the past few days-- "pray for each other that you may be healed".James 5:16   That's good medicine to remind me that there are so many out there with worse situations than me.  So many facing life losses that are huge.  God has blessed me with good health all these 64+ years.

At the cancer treatment center on yesterday I saw every bed full -- full of folks getting infusions to stop what's growing inside of them.  Today those beds will fill up with even more folk --

I don't want this to be about ME
I don't want cancer to dominate life right now
I want this to be about Jesus being our constant in ALL of our life stuff.

My mind sweeper -- one to clear the clutter from my mind -  "Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ:"  2 Cor. 10:5  That will stop this 4 AM mind swell that I experience 2-3 times a week.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above"  James 1:17

God has sent the most wonderful gifts in this past month by way of special words from loving family and friends

A beautiful bracelet Bethany had made for me at Rustic Cuff - with a verse that I claimed as  MY VERSE for this time Isaiah 30:15  "In quietness and trust is my strength"

A blanket for chemo visits from my sweet friend Carol

PJ's for lounging after chemo from my hubbie

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Tea for nausea from Rwanda that Marshall brought me -- earrings from the same country.

Girl time pedicures with Katie and our usual trip to IKEA when we visited over the holidays.
 And a precious cross necklace from her that was titled 'Faith Hope & Love'

Fun time cooking with Katie -- she always has a new Pinterest recipe!

The finished product - yummy Beef Wellington

A big tote to carry all my "stuff" to treatments and pj's both from India given to me by my dear friend Geeta


A friend from year's past, Gay who is teaching me the ropes of this process of healing from cancer

A plaque from a student who promises to pray for me,

Wonderful fun & yummy gifts from Marinelle -

Tickets to one of my favorite comedians when we're 3/4 done with chemo.

Marinelle and Sharon offering to take my subbing jobs.  That is HUGE -- Marinelle's offer came right after a panic session with God in the middle of the night as to how I was going to manage it all.

Some of the best words I heard from Gay are - "This really does go quickly -- about halfway through you think it is never going to end and you feel like giving up-- but pretty soon treatments are over and surgeries are completed"
Her words as well:    "I'm so thankful that my cancer is one that could be removed and healed"

The favorite advice for wig shopping: --  "Why pay thousands for human hair wigs that have to be fixed? -- if you can't fix your own hair -- you don't want to fix someone elses."

God is so good -- such a good, good Father as we sang on Sunday -- somehow it seems that all Sunday's worship songs spoke to my heart.

A New Chapter

It has been 44 years that my husband has been in ministry -- a  ministry that has taken him all over the world as well as various congregations in many states.  Through it all,  he has had a servant's heart and wanted to see the Church grow.  As he matured in ministry he moved to the larger dimension of the Kingdom and believed that Christ's body was bigger than a small denomination.  He has influenced many young people through his work as  an adjunct professor which began in the early 80's  in Lubbock, TX.  

 I remember hearing him preach for the first time when I was a sophomore in college and praying to marry a man like that -- 18 months later we started dating while Terry was a youth minister for my home congregation (often taking the youth group on our dates)   18 months later we were married.
AND THE REST IS HISTORY - as the saying goes . . .

 Ministry has always been a dynamic of our marriage.  Pastoral visits, elder board meetings, Sunday school supervision at times, fellowship potlucks, visiting missionaries to host, traveling to speaking engagements and being with our people in their joys and their sorrows, AND being blessed to see the Body of Christ all over the world. 

 Forty-two of those years Terry has been my senior pastor except for a short span when he was in graduate school.  I have grown in my faith under his teaching.

I’ve been with him through these times of growth, and reflection,

Times of loss and disappointment – 

I have watched his constancy to stand for what is right and seek the good in people.

At times he was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt when I wouldn’t. 

In those years of ministry God has been with us every step of the way.

He has had no patience for Church politics and those power plays in the church.  .  .  His concern has always been for the health and unity of the Body of Jesus and he believes those under-handed tactics had no place in a healthy Church.  People who became disgruntled he helped them to find a place they would be more content and always helped them to know that "Once a Lifer - Always a Lifer" as he often says.  

This past Sunday began a new chapter in both our lives.  He will no longer be the Senior Pastor of Life Park Christian Fellowhip that we helped to plant in West Tulsa 15 years ago.  He'll move out of the "driver's seat to the front passenger" seat as Mondo and Leeca Jenkins begin their role in Senior Ministry.  We have been blessed in getting to know this precious family and look forward to their leadership as we move forward.

Jesus On this journeY

That's the best definition of joy in this phase of life.  Jesus On this journeY.  I'm finding it has to be a day-to-day decision to invite HIM on this trek.  Daily, I have to set my mind's eye on HIM or I get caught up in the diagnosis and can quickly fall in to fear.  

When I first heard the "c" word --(I still have a hard time saying it)--I remembered what I've heard from cancer survivors - that they learned to appreciate each day as a gift.

I decided to look for the joy-makers. 

Some joy-makers and "God-stops"  this week are -- (God stops are where I just have to stop and say -- "God did this!")

Campbell belly-laughing when Pablo the
puppet shows up unexpectedly at their Christmas program.

When I got this at school, I just had to laugh!

My friend, Pam, on Thursday, gave me a list of two teachers every hour who will take over if I need to leave my class at any time to rest during the days after chemo.

Marinelle, has moved to Lake Eufala, but insists she can come in to Tulsa and sub for me!  I can't believe this beautiful friend!  This is HUGE and has lifted a big huge weight from my shoulders.

Flowers from Bethany's long-time friend Cori - a day after we got the first word - while we were waiting on more tests and doctor visits.  Every time I passed them in the past two weeks I had to smile and remember God's blessings come from his special people.


A visit from my dear friend Geeta - to bring some special needful things -- pajamas and a beautiful tote to carry things back and forth to chemo. 

This one may be my second choice --

Wig shopping today with Bethany.  -- so glad to face that one head-on.
The thought of losing my hair has been a biggie-- anything but a joy-bringer.   -- All I could think of was losing my wig in front of a class of 30+ kids-- or the problem of having to pull it down.  

Terry's never sure if I have my wig on or not -- it must look like the real deal!

I reasoned if I were going to be bald - I needed to try to figure out a positive somewhere. 
Not spending time drying my hair in the mornings --
Not having a bad hair day -- if you like your wig -- you'll always have a good hair day
Sorry, that was all I could come up with.
Thinking about a little guy at KU with no hair -- feeling a new empathy for him.

There they are-- my biggies-- baldness, nausea and fatigue..  I know God has a plan for all of that. But the idea of my body being bombarded with so many chemicals and every cell attacked with powerful drugs does take my breath.

Bethany suggested we go to Wigs n'. More on 81st and Harvard.  The owner who met us as we came in was upbeat -- no - gushing and all sorts of "I'm so sorry" and sympathy -- just - "let's get busy -- we can help".  She set out to guide me through the process of how to put them on -- how to care for them and teaching me all the basics.  She was so approachable  and taught me tons!  

B decided we needed to text T to convince him I got this one.

 

As we left the store the owner shared a book on healing scriptures.   That was my "God-stop" for today.  I felt HE put this special encounter together.  I had to call her later to thank her for her special kindness and sensitivity.  Another weight lifted. 

These sweet babies were waiting with Papa when we returned.
Everybody has headgear today.
 

C's favorite hat -- not really THAT cold out --
but she had to wear it

Syd decided Papa had to put something on his head

Jack's grey hair

So many people are praying 
I don't take that lightly


So many sweet offers for help.


Our kids (all four of them) who are all taking such great care of us

the coming months

God has surrounded me with such beautiful expressions of caring and kindness.  My administrators have been awesome and being with my students really lifts my spirits.  My wonderful husband and kids and g'babies are the very best!  My co-workers have expressed so much support and caring.  Just having someone every day at my door when I get there ask about the previous day's test makes me know that I'm not alone in this.

I just got a text from one of my Youth Alive teens who said he had just learned of my diagnosis and said he'd be praying.  NOW THAT -- makes me weepy. 

Everyday something makes me that way and always something makes me LAUGH.  Laughter is good medicine -- God said so.  I'm buying it.

Yesterday after I told my 3rd hour about the challenges we all face and now I had one that I never EXPECTED to have.  I promised them we'd all get through it and be better on the other side --
One of my shy students pulled me in the hall and told me about his brother's family who had been in a bad wreck on Sunday and asked me if I would pray.  He could barely speak to me at the beginning of the semester and now he trusts me enough share this with me.  What an honor to pray for them.

The first major tests are back and a plan has been put it place ---
I have kept saying "I just wish I knew what to expect for the next few months"

Yesterday, when I met with my oncologist -- I SAW what the next 5 months would look like.
He told me it was in the lymph nodes and felt it was aggressive and rather large.  He said Stage 3 -- For that reason:
Chemo (16 treatments) -- 'said I'd be losing my hair in the first few weeks -- (Bethany is already shopping for wigs) --
Nausea (maybe -- maybe NOT) -- fatigue. Surgery.  Then radiation.

However -- he was confident we'll beat this!  You bet we will --

I told him I'm still teaching and he said "Good -- go when you feel up to it"  I asked about yoga -- he told me no downward dogs until the port site heals -- but the people who are active and connected have the best chance of this not recurring.  He said it helps to fight that fatigue.  He kept saying walking was the best thing.

Jesus is on this Journey ---- I know-- because He gives me something fresh every morning.  Today's devotional was all about a family facing the same decisions Terry and I are.

Now -- next on MY agenda -- getting T to the ENT to get that tumor on HIS thyroid removed.

Manna Verses

Campbell's verse from preschool last week - I'm diggin' it!!!

I love how the Lord fed the Israelites every day with just enough physical food.    Someone taught me years ago about MANNA VERSES - and how if we listen to HIS SPIRIT in us -- He will bring those to mind. Thoughts from His word to help us stay the course that day.   I love how every day HE's put a song or verse there.  Some days he has to bombard the worry and fear with it to bring back my focus.


The past few nights I've been awake from 2-4 trying to figure out the next six months and how to manage my classroom -- my healing -- and my family.  
I've tried to teach my life skills students  the Plan Process and that when we face problems we make a plan and work the plan.  I've challenged them to accept 3 life challenges for the semester and to work those challenges in different ways.  NOW, I'm the one with the LIFE CHALLENGE -


GOD also sends us something to laugh about -- I believe that part of HIS loving us and healing us is helping us to laugh.  I also believe that He's got the "not yet" covered and He wants us to live in the now . . . with HIM . . .  I'm a planner and organizer -- OK -- WORRIER.


The other day right after I got tough results from the first biopsy, I got a text from one of my Youth Alive girls to tell me she was praying for me.  I texted back telling her that the verse the students had chosen as our theme verse for the year - is  so perfect for this time in my own life. .  I texted the wrong verse which had her totally confused, trying to figure out what must be WRONG with me if THAT verse was my guide.

God is Good all the time. . . while we're waiting on the PET scan and oncology visit on Tuesday..

Joymakers

So today's doctor visit wasn't quite what I had planned --
I immediately liked her -- she was kind, sensitive, to the point and professional with a heart that showed she cared.  HOWEVER, she said she thinks it's more extensive that previously thought -- she even put a number to it -- Stage 3. . .  she called it tricky or something ... BUT . . . she DOES have to do more testing. She did a needle aspiration today, there's an MRI and PET scan coming up and all the result will be compiled to set up a plan on Dec. 23.
In the meantime -- I'm going to center my thoughts on some of my "JOY Makers"

Having my family all together

Hearing her "take" on life!!!  She makes me laugh!

Watching Campbell teach Syd and then seeing Syd mimic C

Our annual Children's Nutcracker Ballet




Texts, phone calls  and Face Time with our CO KIDS --  
Last week they were doing double duty checking on my results and Terry's as well as Jan Good's

Anticipating Syd's next antics

Watching Jack's little personality develop

Sitting with the G men in Church
















Sharing grandparenting and life's special moments with this guy. . .

enjoying teaching KU and Sunday School

J O Y

OK - so it was one of my impulse buys -- but I had seen a Pinterest pic this summer of 3 wreaths and in each wreath were the letters J-O-Y -- thinking that would carry a real message for my outdoor Christmas decorating.

Mid- summer I bought three six inch wooden ones and sprayed them gold - -I found a reason to use them in Sunday school (which justified my purchase, I reasoned) -- 

This year -- instead of on the wreaths outside -- I decided I'd hang them on the mantle.  We'd been struggling with T's extreme pain and I thought it'd be a good mental boost for us.  A real reminder to be happy in Jesus.

As all of this has transpired with biopsies and results and waiting on tests -- I believe those are the words that best describe the mindset we are supposed to adopt at this time.

It reminded me of the Shunamite woman in the Bible who in the throes of losing her child - sent for the prophet Elisha.   When asked --her response "it is well" knowing that God was in control.  I want to be so anchored in God with all of this that my heart is calm and I know that HE is guiding the process.

What a Difference a Day Makes . . .

Last Tuesday  morning I was quickly perusing the next lesson in a Bible study I am doing on the book of James.
I came to the James 4:15 passage -- What is your life? -- you are but a vapor -- and hurriedly read it because I was so busy with plans for the day ahead.

Tuesday opened a new chapter in my life . . .
About 11:00 I get a text from Terry that says -- "Call me when you get a chance ."
OK -- I can do that -- students just left the room -- it was time for lunch and planning period.
He says that the dr. office called and his biopsy report is back -- it shows possible thyroid cancer and it will require surgery -- he tried to make it sound like - no big deal.

About 10 minutes later - I get a call from the breast center -- I knew they would be calling -- b/c they told me the day before that I'd get a courtesy call to make sure that I was doing fine from my biopsy.  She asked the standard questions and then said -- I need to talk to you about your results -- are you where you can discuss this -- I said I was -- even though I was standing near an outside door to get better phone reception.
She said it shows cancer in your right breast.  CANCER? WHAT -- THE NEXT STEP WAS TO TELL ME I NEEDED ANOTHER BIOPSY-- NOT GIVE ME THESE RESULTS SO QUICK--

As I'm trying to get my head around it all, I said something like -- "Is there a chance this is a benign area?"

She said ma'am -- "CANCER IS CANCER".  "Do you have a surgeon? "

  A surgeon???  What are they going to do -- whack it off?
 
Well ...
"That changes the course of the next months", I thought.

I was floored --
Students came in to my room to check on a project --- I mumbled through something ---

I went upstairs to Marianne's room-- she'd just fought this battle last year with so much strength and dignity -- I needed to talk to her and ask the name of her doctor.

I tried to put my mind around what they told me I needed to do next. ---

Next I told Pam --  long time friend -- from Wright Christian days -she has constantly checked on me every day since then.

Then I told my principal who responded in a way that surprised me
"Have you been getting mammograms, he asked?" in a fatherly way
That was odd -- from my administrator who is 20 years younger than me ---(His mother had just gone through all of this, he explained --)

Yes I told him so -- every year  -- now every 3-6 months  (looks like it has developed in the last 3 months)* 


On Wednesday I opened that study of James 4:15 -- it smacked and I started to walk away from it--but kept reading -- it offered so much strength and soul food, reminding me-- "We're here because HE wills that we live another day"  HE has this all in control

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES!!!! 

Throughout the last 7 days so many friends have given me doctor names, healing stories and words of support.  My principals have checked on me -- offered their prayers --  Friends are truly God's gift!!!

* Here is the God- Stop in all of this.  After my August diagnostic mammogram -- the breast center said they'd do a re-check in 6 months -- I reminded them I was due for a yearly in 3 months -- it was decided they'd move it up 3 months and double check me in Nov.  I believe God was in the process of early detection.