God is in CONTROL

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

WHO said Bald is Beautiful???

This one was hard for me.

It. Was. A. Biggie.

I had dreaded it BIG TIME and prayed to get a pass.  I would remind God of the verse that he knew the very number of hairs on my head and I was wanting to hold on to EVERY ONE of them.

Do you know there are no positive scriptures about baldness?
There was the time the children were making fun of Elisha calling him a “baldy” and they got cursed – Oooooh that was ugly.

I knew it was time – my scalp had ached like I had a 100 cow-licks

It was sort of like when I was in my mid-twenties and trying to jump off the high dive – I would change my mind and then go back and try again
.
My hair was coming out in handfuls this past weekend after my second treatment.  It was agonizing – knowing I was going to soon be bald.

Terry and I talked about it and he said he’d take care of it for me – but knew it would be upsetting and I probably would have trouble sleeping
we post-poned it to Monday night.

After dinner we got to it – it didn’t take long
I didn’t have that much hair left
It all came off pretty quickly as tears streamed down my cheeks.
T kissed me and remarked he’d never kissed a bald-headed woman before – funny guy

My head was cold

My head felt so prickly when I put anything on it

He was right – I didn’t sleep well – stayed awake from 2:00 on
 – b/c my head felt like needles – BUT the sore scalp problem was over.

One doctor’s words – if you’re keeping your hair with breast cancer – the meds aren’t working –

It still is hard to look in the mirror – I have to get reacquainted with myself each time.
(I had a real fear of losing it – and looking freakish in front of 130 students)

I discovered – scarves do stay on my head during the day – I have lots of them – some I even got in India 35 years ago.

I’m am going to a class offered by the American Cancer Society on how to tie them – and apply make-up called “Looking Good – Feeling Better”.


Soon my wig will feel comfortable again

My friends at school and my family have designated PINK TUESDAYS in honor of those who are fighting and have won this fight against Breast Cancer – It was the support I needed to show up on my first “No Hair” day.
My students – made positive comments about my head gear yesterday-that was a boost.

One sweet student put a note in my mailbox – encouraging me and telling me she looked up to me.

To a bald lady in her mid-60’s – during a very awkward day – that was a gift.

“Bad hair days” are hard for any woman – “No-Hair Days” can be even more so— scripture calls hair our covering.  We put a lot of time and effort into our hair.
But I have the opportunity and resources for good medical care
Within a month after chemo it will grow back.
Until then – it’s hats and wigs and scarves – praying for a Spring with little wind.
I can’t bring myself to post a picture bald – but I will post my first morning out in a scarf on PINK TUESDAY!
I am covered by so much love and support --God is my covering and HE has blessed me with the best!
   Psalm 91




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