God is in CONTROL

Monday, July 13, 2009

Stinkin' Happy


Out on my walk this morning I remembered it's July 13th and realized that it has been 6 years today since Mom went Home. For what I know of the way time is measured in Eternity -- it's only been a short "breath" . . . however, it's been much longer down here and those 13 months we got to have her in our home left a lasting legacy for us all.


Our kids have remarked at what a special time this was for our family having grandma with us. You see, she taught us a great deal about living life to the fullest and about making this very important transition. Her grandkids found her full of wit and ready to laugh at their antics and stories even though her body was debilitated by Lou Gehrig's Disease (ALS). I would see pure delight in her eyes whenever any of them came to hang out in her room. There was so much she could complain about -- but she looked for the positive and stayed interested in other people. Bethany came home with a situation of some of her students needing school clothes and Mom was eager to help provide the funds. About this time, she picked up the phrase "Stinkin' Happy" from a little four yr. old who would visit her.

We tried to make sure she had no worries and that her care was superb. She had nurse's aides while I was at school and Terry would get up every two hours of the night to check on her and move her from side-to-side to keep the soreness away. His household rule was "What ever grandma wants, grandma gets." Every night he'd make her favorite sundae - icecream with crunchy peanut butter and chocolate sauce.

Many of Mom's friends and family came to visit from her home in Illinois during those last months and I would hear her give them words of blessing and depth. I watched her life's work being affirmed by them during these visits and enjoyed listening to the encouragement she gave them.

One of our favorite memories with her is pictured above when we got her to go with us to look at Christmas lights. That was our yearly tradition and our grown kids still wanted to keep this ritual and wanted grandma to do it with us. We asked her and she begged, "please, don't make me." However, we persisted and she relented. Bethany got her all "dolled up" in winter garb and Terry held her up as we drove a short trek through the neighborhood. When I put her to bed that night she thanked me over and over for her Christmas outing.

About dying she would say, "God will do it in HIS time, no point doing a lot of talking about it." Before Hospice was engaged to care for her -- she quipped "all they do is talk about dying and if you don't, they're disappointed!" (She did love her Hospice caregivers and greatly appreciated the service they rendered.)

Hospice worked early on at preparing us for what was to come. They explained that sometimes when it was time to pass, people would see bright lights or dearly departed loved ones. As her speech failed, we often misunderstood what she was trying to communicate. Bethany was sitting with her grandma one evening while we were out and she was saying something with the word "light" in it. Bethany asked everything she could think of "Do you see the bright light?" --- "Do you see Grandpa?". At this Mom strongly responded, "NO, TURN OUT THE LIGHT!"

After her 83rd birthday party and making a video interview with her six grandkids, my sister-in-law, Sandy, put her to bed; she looked up at her and said -- "They think this will be my last -- but they're going to have to do this again next year!" When I turned out her lights that night after having all her favorite people with her Mom said, "Jan, I'm Stinkin Happy"

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