I've been looking for someone to buy a mother's day card for. Both my mother and mother-in-law are with Jesus and this year I wanted to remember someone with a card. For the past five years I preferred to stay away from that section of the card aisle at Wal-Mart and Hallmark.
This year, I bought one and have decided who'll I make "mother of the year" with my card. Last year Marshall and I took her 5 yr. old shopping for Mother's Day and she ended up buying a talking pig that she knew her Mom would enjoy as much as she did. I decided the best way to celebrate is help my preschoolers and toddlers make a special gift for their moms.
I remember when Mother's day for me as a young wife was a bittersweet time -- yes, I loved my mother very much -- but I was unable to have children for a period of seven years. I would buy the card for my mom, find the appropriate gift and make the phone calls to share the day with her. But secretly I longed to have my own child to celebrate the day with.
I went to baby showers of my young pregnant friends, heard their stories of labor and delivery and moaned on the inside, afraid that I would never be able to have a child. I found myself identifying with all the women in the Bible, like Hannah who prayed so hard for a child Eli, the priest, thought she was drunk. I have a keen sensitivity for women who face infertility problems.
After many tests, a miscarriage and different medical procedures, Terry and I were able to have two children. I found myself elated and a little overwhelmed at times when at 30 yrs of age I had a precious daughter, Bethany, and at 32 had our son, Marshall.
At first, I was so cautious and tense that I couldn't relax and take a nap without having my Dad sit and watch Bethany sleep in her bassinet to make sure she was okay.
Every age and stage of my children was a gift. I sewed matching outfits, read and sang to them constantly because I felt that I was so totally responsible for how they turned out. I took my job so very seriously. Maybe I was the first "helicopter mom". I made plenty of mistakes -- there are times I wish I had relaxed more -- times I wish I'd better prepared them for something they are facing in life presently.
The night Bethany was born I opened my Bible to Mary's song -- and read these Words from Luke 1, "for He has been mindful of . . . the Lord has done great things for me." I had chill bumps --You see during those 7 years, I thought HE'd forgotten all about me. When Marshall was born I looked over at him and thought -- "I have a boy also". I had been told we should only have two children because of my health and I realized that God was allowing me to have both a daughter and a son! Growing up with brothers I was thrilled to have a son also.
These years have flown so quickly -- I don't know where time has gone -- knowing my children as preschoolers, primaries, young teens and now young adults has been so fulfilling. Watching them take on the adult world and learn their perspectives has been rewarding.
My job as mother is different now -- am I still a helicopter mom? I don't think so, but I hear that my son tells his sister and his Dad, "Don't let Mom know this -- she'll worry and have lots of questions." You see, I'm known as the Family Interrogator (Marshall is presently trekking in Nepal after doing a surgery rotation in Vellore, India, and I have been doing a lot more "knee time" about that young man.)
My parent's example was that they didn't stop parenting when we left home and I learned a lot from watching them. Every day they would pray for their children and their six grandchildren. I have since realized how careful they were about the advice they offered and know there must have been many times they "bit their tongues" to keep from giving a lecture or stern warning.
Guess that's my job description now -- keep on my knees and choose my words carefully!
Same Stuff New Place
5 years ago