Anchor People

   In every family there are what might be known as “anchor people”.  The family is nurtured by them and their sense of family is so strong that you connect with them in the bigger extended family of your lives.

               Such was the case with my cousin Debbie.

   I remember Debbie as a little girl – quiet – stable -fun- the typical middle child – flexible.  They stayed with us when I was about 11 or 12 for a month.  Both being the "middle child" we connected.

   As we grew to our teen years – I was older (about 7 years) – we didn’t see as much of her but in our later adult years we became close again.  Our mothers were sisters.  When my parents moved near my Aunt Mildred to help with my Dad’s care – both Debbie and her mom stepped up to help.  She was one my mom knew would come in a moment’s notice and she always was the calm reassurance and support Mom and Dad needed.  Terry and I, 10 hours away,  knew we could always rely on Debbie and Steve. 

   Debbie had a laugh as she told her stories – life had dealt a harsh hand early on and she learned to work very hard to provide for her two girls.  She met Steve and life became sweet  as two boys were born into their family making them a household of six.

Debbie was never one to boast about herself but was aware of those around her.

   God gave me a sweet memory Thursday morning, just minutes after I got the news – I immediately shared this with Janet her younger sister.   My classes were launching a foods unit on meal planning and this sweet remembrance came to mind:

   In 2003 Debbie brought her parents to Tulsa (a 10 hr drive) to see my mom whose health was declining with ALS.  Debbie had created a noodle business and so that day she taught my students how to make them.  I shared with my students that when you are in a hard time financially – creating a business with food is one of the ways that you can take care of your financial losses.  Janet told me that Debbie always wanted to be a Home Ec. Teacher.

   We haven’t talked in a few years – to my regret—we have been keeping up with our tribes of g’kids now.  Only an occasional something on FB -- About 3-4 summers ago Debbie, Janet and I had a cousin reunion in St. Louis – what a fun night!  

   Janet is a great one to keep us connected to our larger family of grandparents – keeping those stories alive that she learned from her mom.  .  . she's our family connector - and keeps up with all of us.

   I am sitting here this morning unable to be in Indiana for Debbie’s service at 2 -- I am grieving for Steve, Lori, Carey, Bryce and Spencer – I hurt for Janet and Donnie, their brother – our lives were entertwined so closely for those years when we were young.  

   Debbie leaves a gaping hole!  

   Her Father Aaron, step-mom Earlene, and Brad, Marcie, Kim, Julie, Matt, Mark and Greg and their families all feel this profound loss.

   Debbie stayed close to home – grew up in Vincennes Indiana – married and raised a family there – it will be a huge service.  Her larger family included other siblings and their families – she was their older sister --The people she touched knew she was the real deal. 

   I know that I have been blessed - Janet reminded me that Ida and Verner Brian (Mom’s parents) were strong people who raised good kids. Lucille, Willis and Mildred.   My Indiana family are all the hardest working people I know. . . and have the strongest sense of integrity.  I want to see all of them in Heaven.

  The Bible says from Job "The LORD gives and the LORD takes away- Blessed be the NAME of the LORD"  That's a harder verse for me today -- but 2 Corinthians names Him the "God of ALL COMFORT and Father of Compassion " I am leaning on Him today for Debbie and her great big family.  My Cousins Janet, Donnie, Melody and her husband Terry who are all there asking Him to guide them through the coming days.