Freedom

We sing a song at Church "Freedom" and that's sort of how I felt these past few days as I worked in our yard when  my  energy would permit -- I felt like I'd been set free.  

I'm  loving doing things I haven't been able to do - I know my cells are not totally free of the chemo and won't be for a few weeks -- but just the THOUGHT of being through gives me motivation.

My meds have brought fatigue and anemia which has made me short of breath -- Taxol added numb feet, achy fingers, dizziness and mild body ache.  .  .  all that can  zap energy and kill motivation -- a small price to pay to be killing cancer and not have other bad side effects.

I"m sort of the verse -- "whatsoever you hands (and arms) find to do -- do it with all your might" until the energy plays out -- it all takes twice as long -- b/c I have to stop and rest -- but I see progress.  

I have been aware of my arms -  and found myself thinking how thankful I am that I can use my arms.  I know that after surgery I won't be able to lift and use my arms for 4-6 weeks and then it will take sometime to strengthen the muscles-- -- I find myself wanting to do all sorts of things that need the use of my arms now

 -- picking up Sydney and Jack 

_sorting and organizing my office -- 

- even maybe shampooing the carpets --- 

- washing windows???

Bethany has had to go to Hangar Prosthetics to get Jack's helmet fitted and the girls have gone with her -- they've seen people who have lost limbs and for each situation it has brought on questions.  B carefully prepared them ahead of time by saying "Now I know you're going to see things you've not seen before -- you'll have a lot of questions -- save those for when we get back to the car and I'll explain."

On Jack's last appointment, Campbell loudly said, "Mom, there's a man with only one foot -- but I'm not going to talk about it until we get to the car." To which Sydney chimed in -- "Her (it was a man)
has only one shoe."

Yes, recently in our family we've been thankful for our arms and legs and hands and feet in a whole new way.